IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

#cars #fuels
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There is no denying the fact that the bad environmental impact of fossil
fuel burning
Add a hyphen
fuel-burning
show examples
cars
.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that electric
cars
 should
replacement
Replace the word
replace
show examples
 rather than burn fossil fuels
cars
 , there is
also
 an argument that opposes it . In my opinion, I consider that electric
cars
are reduces
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 environmental
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 like air pollution and will be
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 point in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
To begin
 with, the idea of banning all
cars
 that burn fossil fuels and replacing them with electric
cars
 will decrease the environmental impact But that can’t happen and It will be hard because of The challenges in transitioning to electric
cars
.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Electric
vehicles
 are still relatively expensive compared with traditional
cars
 ,
In addition
 to a lack of enough Infrastructure to support a complete change to electric
vehicles
.
For example
, individuals in
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 regions, buying Electric
vehicles
 may not be financially available without significant government financial help. Another point to consider of benefits
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 electric
cars
 are more environmentally friendly and convenient for many reasons. It is
also
 possible to say
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 on electric energy
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
doesn't harm the environment as much as other kinds of
cars
, which decreases the risks of air pollution and other environmental issues.
Moreover
, you can charge them whenever you want at home without the need to drive to the gas station. In conclusion, despite people having different views , I agree with the statement that claims to ban benzine and gas-powered
cars
 by governors and to transform to electric-powered
vehicles
. The environmental advantages of battery-driven
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
which brings
Verb problem
have
show examples
 positive effects on climate change and pollution levels .
Submitted by ethar1417 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments, particularly when discussing the environmental benefits and challenges of electric vehicles.
coherence cohesion
Present your arguments more clearly by structuring paragraphs with a clear topic sentence and support sentences that logically connect back to the main argument.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion on the subject, which enables you to develop your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly marking the beginning and end of your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • air pollution
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • sustainable
  • renewable
  • electric vehicles
  • battery technology
  • charging infrastructure
  • range anxiety
  • government support
  • incentives
  • subsidies
  • renewable energy
  • environmental impact
  • energy efficiency
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