Many manfuactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products shpuld be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree ?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #shpuld #people

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There are many

products

Use synonyms

on markets’

shelf

Fix the agreement mistake

shelves

show examples

with too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

, which is a serious health

issues

Change the noun form

issue

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay shows two positive aspects

to increase

Change preposition

of increasing

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

’ prices.

Change preposition

show examples

my view, I

considered

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

that it´s worth increasing their prices to encourage a change

consumers’

Change preposition

in consumers’

show examples

habits related to sweet

products

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, companies are going to

force

Wrong verb form

be forced

show examples

to reduce the levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

in their

products

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, people will consider other options more affordable and healthier

instead

Linking Words

to buy

Change preposition

of buying

show examples

expensive

sugar

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

. Nowadays, consumers have less money to buy their groceries,

therefore

Linking Words

they will consider

to get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

other thing

Change the wording

another thing

other things

show examples

such

Linking Words

fruits

Change preposition

as fruits

show examples

, vegetables, grain

products

Use synonyms

meet

Correct your spelling

meat

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, I used to

Correct your spelling

buy

show examples

a product

call

Change the form of the verb

called

show examples

sweet milk “leche condensada” but

this

Linking Words

one

bump

Wrong verb form

bumped

show examples

up considerably.

Thus

Linking Words

, it has been months since I

last

Linking Words

bought

this

Linking Words

product, and I replaced

this

Linking Words

with

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

healthy milk

products

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

industry

Add an article

the industry

show examples

will see their selling

Use synonyms

sugar

Change preposition

of sugar

show examples

items will

decreased

Change the verb form

decrease

be decreased

show examples

significantly.

Therefore

Linking Words

, new healthy or less sweet foods will

design

Wrong verb form

be designed

show examples

and

sell

Wrong verb form

sold

show examples

to recover their revenues and

costumers

Correct your spelling

customers

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, the main Colombian companies

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

shows

Verb problem

make

show examples

big

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

of sugary food have launched many diet

products

Use synonyms

, free

sugar

Use synonyms

, and

change

Wrong verb form

changed

show examples

the

sugar

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

stevia, which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

show examples

remarkably beneficial and less risky. In conclusion, many

sugar

Use synonyms

item

Fix the agreement mistake

items

show examples

which are sold in the markets could

became

Change the verb form

become

show examples

healthy, if their prices bumped up. The people

considers

Change the verb form

consider

show examples

twice before they

bought

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

those, and the companies will design free

sugar

Use synonyms

foods to keep selling. In my opinion, expensive sugary

products

Use synonyms

would be an amazing idea to reduce

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sick people’s medical reports around the world.

Submitted by Andrea Barreto on Mon Oct 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the logical flow between your points. Some ideas are presented but lack clear connections or transitions to guide the reader smoothly from one thought to another.

coherence cohesion

Ensure all main points are sufficiently supported with clear and relevant examples or explanations. Some arguments could be made more compelling with additional details or clearer connections to the main thesis.

task achievement

Aim for a more comprehensive task response by fully addressing the prompt. Make sure each idea is clearly linked to your argument about increasing sugar prices.

task achievement

Expand on some of your ideas for clarity. The essay should maintain a clear focus and direction throughout all arguments, with each paragraph clearly linked back to the thesis.

task achievement

The essay effectively presents a clear position in favor of increasing prices on sugary products to change consumer habits.

task achievement

You provided specific examples, like the product "leche condensada," to illustrate your points, making your arguments more tangible and relatable.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion successfully reiterates the main points and further emphasizes your stance on the issue.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

268 words

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Many manfuactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products shpuld be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree ?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

These days, more and more people prefer to use shared transport such as buses, trams or carsharing applications on their smartphones rather than driving their own cars. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of each individual to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to solve traffic and transport problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than in surburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life of city dwellers be maintained?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public spaces. many people believe that such a ban is jusitified. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.