IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for e.g. working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #e #g #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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There are some statements insisting that high
school
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students
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 should have a compulsory duty to get involved in unpaid community service.
As a result
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, I definitely agree that it should be taken as a part of high
school
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 programs. Despite learning academic knowledge, teenagers who study in high
school
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 are still fostering their sense of responsibility, which can't be learnt from those textbooks. The way that those
students
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 can cultivate their recognition is by taking action
instead
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 of reading books.
Therefore
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, it is necessary for schools or even governments to enforce the training of raising social responsibility. What can
students
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 do in the programs could be clean the neighbourhood, volunteer in hospitals to help patients, or teach sports to children after
school
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. All of that behaviour could have positive effects on society.
Moreover
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, by doing these, juveniles can
also
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 get a sense of achievement by making contributions to the districts.
However
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,
although
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 helping others is absolutely the best method to improve
students
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 themselves, there should be a time limitation for those volunteered works, to illustrate it, those works can't be overloaded
thus
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 leading to some negative influences on
students
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' academic performance.
For example
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, it is more correct for
students
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 to make use of weekend days and spare time to do those work rather than at their
school
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 time. In conclusion, it can play an important role in the development of teenagers' skills by forcing them to engage in community service
whereas
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 there is a premise that it can't backfire on studying,
that is
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, specific regulations should be imposed.
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coherence cohesion
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The range of vocabulary and sentence structures used is appropriate and helps convey ideas clearly.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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