The chart below gives information about how people aged between 25 - 34 are housed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features and make comparisons wehere relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about how people aged between 25 - 34 are housed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features and make comparisons wehere relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The chart shows the
percentage
of how
people
aged 25-34 are housed in the UK
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
2004 to 2014.
Blue
Correct article usage
The blue
show examples
bar means
home
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
owners
,
while
the green bar renters. We
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
see the
horizonal
Correct your spelling
horizontal
axis is the years from 2004 to 2014, and the vertical axis is the percent.In the beginning, it was about 58%
people
who were
home
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
owners
,
while
20% were renters. It
is3
Correct your spelling
is
times
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
. But from the second year 2005,
home
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
owners
percentage
was in a slightly waving and decreasing trend. In 2010 it was obviously going down below 50%. In 2014, there were only 36%
people
who were
home
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
owners
.
Home
owners
percentage
was down from 58% to 36%.
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
the same period 2004 to 2014, the renters’
percentage
rose from 20% in 2004. In 2013, it was over the
percentage
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
Correct your spelling
homeowners
show examples
owners
. And in 2014, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
up to about 48%. In conclusion, the renters’
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
was up from 20% to 48% in a decade. In 2014, most
people
aged 25-34
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were renters in the UK.
Submitted by brierleysteven1 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Linking words: Add more linking words.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, home, owners with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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