IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries #summaries #information #features #comparison
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given charts illustrate the proportions of elderly
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64 in four major countries; Australia,
Japan
Use synonyms
, the USA, and Belgium in 1970 and 2000. Units measured in percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64.
Overall
Linking Words
, it clearly can be seen that the highest percentages of
employees
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64 in
both
Use synonyms
 genders in
overall
Linking Words
 periods are in
Japan
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the lowest number of
women
Use synonyms
employees
Use synonyms
 is in Belgium. In terms of the highest total of
workers
Use synonyms
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64 in
Japan
Use synonyms
, in the first year, the
men
Use synonyms
 group started at 76 and increased and reached a peak at 84 in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
women
Use synonyms
 groups in that year stood at 40 and in the next thirty years stood at precisely 43.
While
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 is in first place in
both
Use synonyms
 genders, Australia has the second most
men
Use synonyms
, elderly
workers
Use synonyms
, in 1970 started at 47, and in the following years experienced a significant rise to 74 in the
last
Linking Words
 periods. Meanwhile, the
women
Use synonyms
workers
Use synonyms
 group in Australia stood at 18 by the year 2000. Regarding the lowest percentage of
women
Use synonyms
employees
Use synonyms
, Belgium started at 7, and in 2000 relatively stable at 8. In the
last
Linking Words
 country, the USA experienced a relatively stable percentage of
both
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 years.
Women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
employees
Use synonyms
 in 2000 ended in 70 and 36 respectively.
Submitted by yannn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, workers, japan, employees, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: