The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
graph shows how many people were participants
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
five different
acivities
Correct your spelling
activities
at the social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
To begin
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
the information that the popularity of film
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
show examples
and martial arts
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
deffiently
Correct your spelling
definitely
stable during these periods of time.
Moreover
, the number of participants in
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
club
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
the
most higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
compared to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
activities for twenty years.
Besides
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of members of musical
perfomances
Correct your spelling
performances
began to grow quite
good
Change the word
well
show examples
from 2005 to 2020.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the number of participants
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
table tennis
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
pretty stable from 2000 to 2010, but the demand indicator
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
club
increased rapidly since 2010.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there were the
club
Capitalize word
Club
show examples
of
amateur dramatics
Correct your spelling
Amateur Dramatics
show examples
.
According to
the graph, the quality of members of
this
activity
rosed
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
slightly in 2005, but
then
it fell very much until 2020. In conclusion, I would like to say that the growth and decline of these clubs could depend on their demand in different years.
Submitted by oanastasia974 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words club with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

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