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Writing Samples /
Band 5

you have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -> give details of the purchase -> Describe the problem -> Explain why you need a replacement urgently

#purchase #company #email #replacement
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to express my annoyance regarding one of the products that I have bought online from your company. It is going to be my best friend's wedding
this
 weekend and I bought a long beautiful red
dress
 which is tight in the upper body and has a
gread
Correct your spelling
great
 fold in the lower body and it does not have any
sleves
Correct your spelling
sleeves
slaves
selves
. In fact, I am one of the
bridesmade
Correct your spelling
brides made
 in
this
 ceremony and all of us have to wear red dresses,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the website, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 dark and light blue, orange and red of
this
dress
. even the picture was exactly the colour that I needed but
unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 the
dress
 that
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
send
Change the form of the verb
sent
show examples
 to me is dark pink, and It is
compeletely
Correct your spelling
completely
considerable
Correct word choice
suitable
show examples
 for everyone and there is no way that I can put it on as a
bridesmade
Correct your spelling
bridesmaid
. As I mentioned earlier, the party is going to be in
this
 weekend so I have to ask you to send the
dress
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 that I want or let me pick another one. I hope you
underestand
Correct your spelling
understand
 my worries and reply to my letter as soon as possible since we only have 5 days left.
your
Correct pronoun usage
Yours
show examples
 faithfully, Parmida.
Submitted by parmida.kharazi on

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single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea to enhance clarity. For instance, separate the details of your purchase and the description of the problem into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for minor spelling errors like 'bridesmade' which should be 'bridesmaid.'
task achievement
The task response effectively addresses all parts of the prompt by including details of the purchase, describing the problem, and explaining the urgency for a replacement.
suitable writing tone
The writing tone is suitable for a formal complaint letter: respectful yet clear about the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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