Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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These days, in many families both parents are working. Some working parents think that
grandparents
should look after their
children
,
while
others believe that
childcare
centres
are the best in
this
regard. I personally believe that
while
grandparents
instill
tradiational
Correct your spelling
traditional
values in their grandchildren,
childcare
facilities are the most suitable option for taking
care
of
children
because they are
professionals
.
Grandparents
should take
care
of their grandchildren.
While
nurturing them,
grandparents
teach them traditional values
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and behaviours. If a child is taken
care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
his
grandparents
, he learns to respect others
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and becomes kind and empathetic. Eventually, he will become a good human being when he will be an adult.
For example
, in Canada, around 56% of mothers believe that their
children
learn good behaviours from their grandmothers.
However
, I personally believe that
although
grandparents
have
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
in nurturing
children
, they are not
professionals
.
On the contrary
,
childcare
centres
are good options for raising
children
because the staff are
professionals
in
this
field. All
childcare
professionals
go through some
specialize
Replace the word
specialised
show examples
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
before they join their work.
Therefore
, they know how to handle different
tantrum
Fix the agreement mistake
tantrums
show examples
of each child.
Childcare
professionals
also
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
children
well-behaved, and independent.
For example
, in Australia, parents mainly depend on
childcare
centres
to take
care
of their
children
because they believe their
children
learn to behave well there.
Therefore
, I believe that
childcare
centres
are the best option to raise
children
. In conclusion, I believe that
children
should be raised in
childcare
centres
because they know how to take proper
care
of
children
.
Grandparents
are experienced in rearing
children
, but they do not have professional
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Make sure to address both views equally in the discussion to present a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs by using linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Expand on examples with more specific details to better illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a well-rounded framework.
task achievement
The argument is generally clear and addresses the task effectively with relevant points.
coherence cohesion
You provided good reasons and examples to support your viewpoints.
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