Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what exyent do you agree or disagree?

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Languages
should be preserved because they are precious.
Languages
are not only the modes of communication but
also
a part of
cultures
and traditions.
Therefore
, when
languages
die out, the
cultures
associated with them
also
die out.
Cultures
are the identities of
people
so, those should be preserved.
For example
, hundreds of aboriginal
languages
have died out in the past decade, and their
cultures
are
also
not found. If there are fewer
languages
, life will not be easier. Rather
comunication
Correct your spelling
communication
will be more difficult if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are only a few
languages
.
People
will struggle to learn those
languages
and cannot
not
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
express their feelings properly.
Moreover
,
people
from different cultural and linguistic backgrounds
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
this
world a beautiful place. If there are only fewer
languages
, the diversity of the world will be lost.
For instance
, Australia has
people
from different linguistic backgrounds,
therefore
,
this
is a very beautiful country.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Improve the introduction and conclusion sections. Start with a general statement about the topic before stating your position. Summarize your main points at the end of the essay and restate your position.
Logical Structure
Ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea supported by examples or explanations. The essay structure could be improved with clearer paragraphing and transition signals between sections.
Supported Main Points
Some examples are provided, but they could be more specific and detailed. For instance, expanding on the effects of losing Aboriginal languages or detailing Australia's linguistic diversity could strengthen your arguments.
Grammar Improvement
Revisit some phrases for grammatical accuracy. For example, "rather communication will be more difficult if there are only a few languages" and "people will struggle to learn those languages and cannot not express their feelings properly." A bit more clarity and syntactic variety could help.
Clear Position
Your viewpoint is clearly expressed, maintaining focus on the importance of preserving languages and cultural diversity.
Insightful Point
You recognize the relationship between language and cultural identity, effectively highlighting the broader implications of language extinction.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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