IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both view and give your opinion?

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
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It is a contentious issue whether the development of economies brings more advantages or disadvantages. Some believe it will end the lack of resources among people suffering from hunger and poverty.
However
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, others are scared that it would cause too much harm to the environment. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on both points of view and explain why I concur the pros outweigh the cons.
To begin
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 with, third-world countries are experiencing tremendous problems.
For instance
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, they do not have enough food and medicines. Certainly, it can be solved by investing in those regions and creating the source of a domestic supply. Nowadays, we have many eco-friendly solutions and modern investments. If we use those technologies, it will help many poor nations without causing significant damage.
On the other hand
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, Chinese politics is an example of destroying nature through improvement. If each country had followed the same tactic, our planet would have been destroyed very soon.
Therefore
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, we should watch out for the implementation of innovative solutions. Clearly, banning some countries is
better
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a better
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 solution than not letting
to
Correct your spelling
it
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 grow to all.
People
Change noun form
People's
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 lives are priceless and we
suppose
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are supposed
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 to
put
Verb problem
make
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 them
as
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apply
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our top priority.
To sum up
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, I strongly believe that each nation should increase its potential. We should not only support the improvement
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 learn from
others
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others'
other's
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 mistakes.
For instance
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 use solar panels and other
pollution free
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pollution-free
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 sources of electricity to build and maintain fabrics, hospitals and other institutions in the poorest areas of the world.
Submitted by Aga on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing eco-friendly investments and technologies.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer connection between ideas, especially in the paragraph discussing "Chinese politics." Ensure that the examples directly tie back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your opinion.
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