Some educationist think that the international exchange visit to different countries for a teenager from school has benefits. To what extend do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#educationist #exchange #visit #countries #teenager #school

Recently, the new trend of international student visits has been popular for adolescents in school. I strongly believe that

this

exchange is a breakthrough that offers huge advantages for teenagers. In spite of the cultural differences which may cause culture shock,

this

trend obviously expands

juvenile's

Fix the agreement mistake

juveniles'

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perspectives about their future

as well as

motivates them to achieve better education.

To begin

with, the opportunity to explore various civilizations could open

teenager's

Change noun form

teenagers'

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point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

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of view about many opportunities that stand in front of them. By knowing about these differences,

such

as the lifestyle, educational system, regulation, and social condition, they may get insights which lead them to discover their true passion.

Furthermore

, they might be able to recognize which educational systems have the best quality,

hence

, they strive to pursue a better education in other nations.

Many

Correct quantifier usage

Much

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research confirms that 80% of students around the world,

aiming

Wrong verb form

aim

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to study abroad because they want to get knowledge from

Correct article usage

a more

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qualified educational system.

In contrast

, there is a chance that multiculturalism can lead them to culture shock.

This

is arguably true because some places around the world have a very polarized way of living.

For instance

, in Indonesia, when we pass by random people on the road, it is a normal thing to greet them with a smile or some hand gestures, but in several parts of the world,

this

action would be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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peculiar behaviour. In brief, I obviously agree that the opportunity to explore education in another country will

give

Verb problem

have

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a massive impact on how juveniles perceive their career, and it will push them to their limit.

Submitted by 000silr111 on Tue Oct 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay could offer a more comprehensive exploration of potential disadvantages to provide a more balanced view.

coherence and cohesion

Use transition words consistently to ensure smooth progression between ideas.

task achievement

Expand on the example provided about culture shock to give a clearer illustration and deeper insight.

introduction conclusion

The introduction clearly states the opinion and sets the context for the essay.

supported main points

The essay provides relevant examples to support the argument about cultural exploration and educational benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some educationist think that the international exchange visit to different countries for a teenager from school has benefits. To what extend do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world,Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based Discuss both sides and give your own view.

internet users as percentage of population in 3 countries from 1999 to 2009

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threanted to the point of extenction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with the problem.

Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Students should have physical activity as a compulsory subject at school on a regular basis. Why is it beneficial for students to participate in physical activity? Which sports do you think are the safest physical activity?