IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level? What could individuals do to help?

#traffic #roads #country #world #amount #society #level #individuals
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Traffic
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 congestion has become a significant obstacle all over the world.
However
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, several efforts can be implemented to tackle
this
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 issue at a societal level, and
people
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 can conduct a variety of initiatives to support
such
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 efforts.
This
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 essay will examine the practical solutions to overcome
traffic
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 congestion. To commence, a myriad of actions can be carried out to cope with
vehicle
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 overcrowding at a societal level.
Firstly
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, one potential approach is for the
government
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 to promulgate a policy that prohibits private
vehicle
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 usage during certain times, preventing the excessive use of conventional vehicles.
For instance
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, the
government
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 can introduce a car-free day program during the weekends and encourage its residents to utilize the public transit system.
Additionally
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, the
government
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 can
also
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 raise dramatically the price of fuel for private vehicles.
Therefore
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, individuals will prefer to adopt alternative modes of
transportation
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, namely trains or buses as their main
transportation
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 for commuting daily.
In addition
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, there are a plethora of ways that
people
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 can do in order to strengthen
traffic
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 prevention. One instrumental action for individuals is to opt for public
transportation
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instead
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 of personal automobiles, as an enormous number of private vehicles on the street are the primary problem which causes
traffic
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.
Therefore
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, there will be fewer cars and motorcycles on the street, reducing the level of
traffic
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 congestion.
Moreover
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, another paramount action is to launch a campaign that enhances
people
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’s awareness of the negative impact of
traffic
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, as
traffic
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 has substantial drawbacks on individuals’ psychology, including stress or fatigue.
Consequently
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, as
people
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 acknowledge the threat that
traffic
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 has on
people
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’s psychology, they will be wiser in using their personal conveyances. To encapsulate, in order to mitigate high levels of
traffic
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, the
government
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 can enact a policy that restricts private
vehicle
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 usage and increases the price of private
vehicle
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 fuel,
along with
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 individual measures,
such
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 as choosing public
transportation
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 and promoting a campaign regarding the negative impact of
traffic
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. Through these efforts, I believe
people
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 can pave the way for less
traffic
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 in the world.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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task achievement
Try incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This might help to illustrate how these solutions have worked in other places or studies that support your proposals.
task achievement
Ensure that every point made is directly aligned with the question prompt. A close examination of whether the solutions suggested directly target traffic can make the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents an introduction and conclusion that clearly frame the discussion topic, which effectively guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provide several logical and well-structured arguments that contribute to a coherent narrative about reducing traffic. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, helping maintain a strong flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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