Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

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In today's society, leisure
time
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is essential for
children
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to release stress from their
activities
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. Some people argue that parents have an order to set the
activities
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,
while
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others believe
children
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have the free will to choose. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides, but I personally agree that
children
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should have the freedom to spend their free
time
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. On one hand, most people consider giving responsibility to the
parent
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parents
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to choose
activities
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for their
kids
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because they want them to
kids
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have
a productive and beneficial
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productive and beneficial activities
a productive and beneficial activity
show examples
activities
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.
In
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As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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, parent have
time
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to check their
kids
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.
They
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They are
They were
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afraid
if
Correct word choice
that
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the
kids
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will
spent
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spend
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their
time
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for
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apply
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playing
a video games
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video games
a video game
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. Meanwhile, if they set the
acrivities
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activities
,
the
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they
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can ask their
kids
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to do
robotic
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robotics
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.
However
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, on the other side, which I strongly agree with,
kids
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should have the opportunity to spend their free
time
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.
Children
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mostly choose
the
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apply
show examples
activities
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based on the things they like,
such
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as playing sports or watching movies.
While
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doing that,
children
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learn new skills and discover themselves more deeply.
As a result
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, they will have stable and stagnant mental health and
conceives
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conceive
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they
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their
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environment more. In conclusion,
while
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people argue that parents should have the opportunity to set their kid's
activities
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, I strongly believe that
children
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should
to
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do
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that by themselves and might provide a lot of benefits for
kids
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mental and personalities.
Submitted by yannn on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, describe specific activities that children might choose on their own and the benefits of such autonomy. This can improve the relevance and depth of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, making sure that each sentence naturally leads to the next. This will enhance the coherence and make your arguments clearer.
task achievement
The essay presents both views of the debate clearly and states your opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly outlining the essay's purpose and summing up your stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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