Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
In today's society, leisure
time
is essential for children
to release stress from their activities
. Some people argue that parents have an order to set the activities
, while
others believe children
have the free will to choose. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides, but I personally agree that children
should have the freedom to spend their free time
.
On one hand, most people consider giving responsibility to the parent
to choose Fix the agreement mistake
parents
activities
for their kids
because they want them to kids
have a productive and beneficial
Correct the article-noun agreement
productive and beneficial activities
a productive and beneficial activity
activities
. In
Change preposition
As
result
, parent have Correct article usage
a result
time
to check their kids
. They
afraid Add a verb
They are
They were
if
the Correct word choice
that
kids
will spent
their Change the verb form
spend
time
for
playing Change preposition
apply
a video games
. Meanwhile, if they set the Correct the article-noun agreement
video games
a video game
acrivities
, Correct your spelling
activities
the
can ask their Correct your spelling
they
kids
to do robotic
.
Replace the word
robotics
However
, on the other side, which I strongly agree with, kids
should have the opportunity to spend their free time
. Children
mostly choose the
Correct article usage
apply
activities
based on the things they like, such
as playing sports or watching movies. While
doing that, children
learn new skills and discover themselves more deeply. As a result
, they will have stable and stagnant mental health and conceives
Correct subject-verb agreement
conceive
they
environment more.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
their
while
people argue that parents should have the opportunity to set their kid's activities
, I strongly believe that children
should to
that by themselves and might provide a lot of benefits for Correct your spelling
do
kids
mental and personalities.Submitted by yannn
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, describe specific activities that children might choose on their own and the benefits of such autonomy. This can improve the relevance and depth of your examples.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, making sure that each sentence naturally leads to the next. This will enhance the coherence and make your arguments clearer.
task achievement
The essay presents both views of the debate clearly and states your opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, clearly outlining the essay's purpose and summing up your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!