Friends have more impact on the academic performance of students than their teachers do. Do you agree or disagree? Use details and examples to support your opinion.

In the modern
eposh
Correct your spelling
epoch
posh
,
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
of education is increasing day by day. Some people believe that academic performance has more impact
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
friends
rather than teachers.
This
essay will argue which plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role in the academic achievement of
student's life
Change noun form
students
show examples
.
To begin
with, teachers are the best at what they do. They can guide pupils in which direction they have to go to achieve their dreams and goals.
Furthermore
, educators
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
required to teach
students
, so they can prepare well for particular
examination
Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
show examples
. They know what is
require
Change the form of the verb
required
show examples
to be successful in
this
highly competitive world as they are elders.
For example
, one of the most successful businessmen of India, Laxmi
mittal
Change the capitalization
Mittal
show examples
said in an interview that his high school teacher was the main reason for their success. Probing ahead,
friends
can play
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
role as they know their
friends
well, and they can motivate them and
students
often compete with others.
In addition
, they provide moral support to other pupils in the event of failure.
For instance
, one study shows that 55% of
students
seeks
Change the verb form
seek
show examples
help from their
friends
instead
of educators.
To conclude
, both of the factors have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own merits and demerits.
one
Capitalize word
One
show examples
offers guidance based on the
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
moral support and motivation. In my opinion, I agree with the side of teachers as they have
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
and knowledge to help
students
increase their academic grades.
Submitted by vishaljangrala94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay sufficiently addresses the task, offering a reasonable discussion on the impact of teachers and friends on academic performance. However, further elaboration on points could improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of ideas to enhance coherence. Linking words and phrases could connect your arguments more fluidly, aiding readability and understanding.
task response
Expand on examples and provide more relevant specifics or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This will support your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The task is addressed directly with a clear opinion stated.
task achievement
There is a balanced perspective, acknowledging both teachers and friends' roles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: