IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Friends have more impact on the academic performance of students than their teachers do. Do you agree or disagree? Use details and examples to support your opinion.

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In the modern
eposh
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epoch
posh
,
importance
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the importance
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 of education is increasing day by day. Some people believe that academic performance has more impact
by
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on
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friends
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 rather than teachers.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue which plays
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in the academic achievement of
student's life
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students
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.
To begin
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 with, teachers are the best at what they do. They can guide pupils in which direction they have to go to achieve their dreams and goals.
Furthermore
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, educators
posses
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possess
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knowledge
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the knowledge
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 required to teach
students
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, so they can prepare well for particular
examination
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examinations
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. They know what is
require
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required
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 to be successful in
this
Linking Words
 highly competitive world as they are elders.
For example
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, one of the most successful businessmen of India, Laxmi
mittal
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Mittal
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 said in an interview that his high school teacher was the main reason for their success. Probing ahead,
friends
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 can play
crucial
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a crucial
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 role as they know their
friends
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 well, and they can motivate them and
students
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 often compete with others.
In addition
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, they provide moral support to other pupils in the event of failure.
For instance
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, one study shows that 55% of
students
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seeks
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seek
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 help from their
friends
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instead
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 of educators.
To conclude
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, both of the factors have
its
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their
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 own merits and demerits.
one
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One
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 offers guidance based on the
experiance
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experience
 and
other
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the other
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provide
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provides
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 moral support and motivation. In my opinion, I agree with the side of teachers as they have
skills
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the skills
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 and knowledge to help
students
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 increase their academic grades.

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task response
The essay sufficiently addresses the task, offering a reasonable discussion on the impact of teachers and friends on academic performance. However, further elaboration on points could improve clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the flow of ideas to enhance coherence. Linking words and phrases could connect your arguments more fluidly, aiding readability and understanding.
task response
Expand on examples and provide more relevant specifics or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This will support your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
The task is addressed directly with a clear opinion stated.
task achievement
There is a balanced perspective, acknowledging both teachers and friends' roles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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