IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine. Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of the natural movement of workers around the world. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words.

Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
 many
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are going to develop
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
a city
show examples
 from their poor
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
. Go to hire some
technicial
Correct your spelling
technical
 work
such
Linking Words
 as doctor and
lawers
Correct your spelling
lawyers
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 are stealing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 . Cause the
people
Use synonyms
are come
Change to the active voice
come
have come
show examples
 from the poor
city
Use synonyms
 and the
people
Use synonyms
 should refund to their only
city
Use synonyms
 , even though there are many
hirement
Correct your spelling
retirement
 in the
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 .The poor
city
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
 live
, the
Change preposition
in, the
show examples
 material that they get even the education
also
Linking Words
 from the poor
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 so if the
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 country
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 the hiring salary and environment to
encoureage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 the
people
Use synonyms
 to move on to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is stealing
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 knowledge
people
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming a
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,if
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 stay in
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own town ,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can help a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
 their
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
 but in
oppose
Replace the word
opposition
show examples
 he moving to the rich
city
Use synonyms
 ,
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
Linking Words
 good
talent
Replace the word
talented
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 . Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is so normal
Change preposition
for that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Correct article usage
the movenment
show examples
movenment
Correct your spelling
movement
 of workers . It
Add a missing verb
is beause
show examples
beause
Correct your spelling
because
 all the
people
Use synonyms
 go to study the final aims are having a high salary and
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 good environment .Some
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are hardworking to earn money to
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 on to the rich
city
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cause it can change their life and life quality so most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are
wiling
Correct your spelling
willing
show examples
 to move to the rich country to get more work
oppuntinity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. In conclusion ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 both have
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think we should respect the
people
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 their decision .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Consider using more linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Work on developing more specific examples to better support your arguments, which will increase the impact of your task response.
task achievement
Clarify your position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion to strengthen your task response.
task achievement
The conclusion acknowledges both sides of the argument, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives regarding the movement of skilled workers, which demonstrates an understanding of the task.
task achievement
A clear attempt is made to discuss the impact of workers moving from poorer to richer countries, which shows engagement with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: