Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?”

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In our century it is too easy and available to
borrowing
Wrong verb form
borrow
show examples
money
Use synonyms
from each
Use synonyms
banks
Change to a singular noun
bank
show examples
and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
giant
Correct article usage
a giant
show examples
debtor for your own country. And it is one of the main causes why around 85% of residents get into debt and
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
unusual items or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
nonsensical actions with
this
Linking Words
borrowed
money
Use synonyms
. First things first
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
want to choose my
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
citizens as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big and fat proof of
this
Linking Words
trouble. In
Kazakhstan
Add a comma
Kazakhstan,
show examples
we don’t even have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong and strict
low
Correct your spelling
law
show examples
about
Use synonyms
banks
Change the noun form
bank
show examples
credits and any punishment for
people
Use synonyms
, who don’t return the
money
Use synonyms
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they spend on
trash
Add an article
the trash
show examples
that they don’t need or can’t afford for themselves.
For example
Linking Words
,
third
Add an article
a third
the third
show examples
of a quarter of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
in Kazakhstan
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
enough debts. For what all of
this
Linking Words
“headache”? Because there are the most common and one of the general sins which
people
Use synonyms
there are have is — contention and showing-off. All of them borrow
money
Use synonyms
for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
events like
wedding
Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
show examples
or
introduction
Correct article usage
the introduction
show examples
of the parents of the couple, who going to marry
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc. Or for buying luxury items like designer clothes, famous
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
or premium cars.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
there is one type of person who
borrow
Change the verb form
borrows
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to pay off the
another credits
Replace the adjective
another credit
other credits
show examples
. That’s literally strange, but it’s the
sadness
Replace the word
sad
show examples
truth and reality.
People
Use synonyms
do all kinds of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
things because they can and
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to afford
this
Linking Words
not clean system of taking
money
Use synonyms
from
banks
Use synonyms
or
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
companies or areas which have
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
and control over
money
Use synonyms
. The best
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
is
create
Fix the infinitive
to create
show examples
new low and
punishment
Fix the agreement mistake
punishments
show examples
for
this
Linking Words
kind of situation.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
all
banks
Use synonyms
and companies could make more strict contracts with their
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, on
legal
Add an article
a legal
the legal
show examples
level
Add a comma
level,
show examples
they could take
document
Fix the agreement mistake
documents
show examples
from
people
Use synonyms
, which can
proof
Replace the word
prove
show examples
the importance of borrowing
money
Use synonyms
and describing the main reasons why they needed
money
Use synonyms
and credit. If reasons and explanations are clear and really important (like borrowing
money
Use synonyms
for building materials for houses or architecture projects or borrowing
money
Use synonyms
to start up your own deal or business) and if your pocket can carry
this
Linking Words
kind of responsibility, they can give you credit or duty. In conclusion, being free from any punishment and spending government
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
no purpose turn on
a big debts
Correct the article-noun agreement
big debts
a big debt
show examples
. Having a strong
low
Correct your spelling
law
show examples
specifically about
this
Linking Words
kind of trouble and working only on a legal basis would solve
this
Linking Words
issue,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas among paragraphs for stronger coherence. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on your main points to enhance understanding. More distinct sections within the essay could help in organizing thoughts effectively.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your arguments. Consider global or historical contexts to provide a richer perspective.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both reasons for the problem of debt and potential solutions comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a framework for the essay’s arguments, which supports the overall cohesion.
task achievement
The examples provided from Kazakhstan add a personal and relatable touch to your essay, which brings authenticity to your arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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