You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Studying at
universty
Correct your spelling
university
with your family is very
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
. Since you have everything. To illustrate limitless eat, drink and you don't pay rent.
Nevertheless
providing that you go to another city for
universty
Correct your spelling
university
, you will
free
Add a missing verb
be free
show examples
.
Seing
Correct your spelling
Seeing
that when you go to
universty
Correct your spelling
university
, you can invite ease. To clarify when you
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
watch TV
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you can listen to loud music.
Therefore
you should stay at
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
home
. In
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
you can be unhappy and alone.
This
can be annoying.
Fistly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, studying
universty
Correct your spelling
university
at
home
is
comfort
Correct article usage
a comfort
show examples
for you.
Seing
Correct your spelling
Seeing
as
Correct pronoun usage
it as
show examples
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
home
is enjoyable. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
if you have
any
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
brother or sister, you will be happy. To oversimplify you can play computer
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
and
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
TV or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
ball
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside with your brother or sister. Thereby you should prefer studying
univerty
Correct your spelling
university
at
home
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
you don't have to quit
hire
Wrong verb form
hiring
show examples
and you are not alone.
Secondly
, studying
univerty
Correct your spelling
university
at
home
has some disadvantages. These are
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of private life, making a statement to
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
not being able to be alone etc. In as much as these disadvantages can upset you.
This
issue can lead to depression over time.
Hence
you must have your own private moments. All in all, you can find solutions to be happy
while
studying at
universty
Correct your spelling
university
in the family
home
. For the reason that some days you necessity to family. From my point of view, I strongly believe that family is everything in the world.
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
show examples
you can compromise
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
your family. To give you an idea you can watch TV once a day with
father
Correct pronoun usage
your father
show examples
and mother or sister and brother. As an
extra
Add a comma
extra,
show examples
you can sometimes play a game with family. You must not forget,
Correct word choice
that this
show examples
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
times are precious for your life.
Submitted by eylulelveren7 on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by improving transitions between ideas. Try using more linking words or phrases to connect thoughts smoothly from one sentence or paragraph to another.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, ensure you directly address the essay question for the entire response, balancing your discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages. Add more depth to your examples by explaining them further.
task achievement
The essay contains a clear opinion and offers some good insights into the pros and cons of living at home versus away while attending university.
coherence cohesion
You utilize personal experiences and generic observations which add a personal touch to the essay.
task achievement
Using examples from family life enriches the essay with relatable content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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