IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

With the advent of technology, every quarter of life has now become way more convenient.
This
Linking Words
 extends to the spreading of
information
Use synonyms
, and the efficiency of how it is being spread. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two main reasons for
this
Linking Words
. The first is the speed at which
information
Use synonyms
 is spread ,
while
Linking Words
 the second is the organization of its presentation. In the olden days, the transfer of knowledge was done with letters and books.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, the speed of gaining knowledge can only be as fast as a pigeon or a car. Nowadays, we have the internet as a medium. So, the info spreads at the velocity of light, and
thus
Linking Words
 faster than any means of transportation of the past. From the technological advance of mankind, humans can now present
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
words and pictures in
a more dynamic ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
a more dynamic way
more dynamic ways
show examples
, than we can ever do before. Normally, we can just put each
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 into pages. Unable to be changed and with fixated rules, but now we can organize it using webs. As we can utilize the underlying code, to create and modify a blank screen into an easily understandable and compact source of knowledge. In conclusion, from the velocity of
information
Use synonyms
 being near that of light and the organization of
information
Use synonyms
's help in knowing exactly what you want, I agree with the given statement.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
While your essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, consider integrating more specific examples to elaborate on your points and provide stronger support for your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of the phrasing could be made more concise. For example, phrases like "with the advent of technology, every quarter of life has now become way more convenient," can be streamlined to maintain reader engagement.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear stance on the argument.
supported main points
The points made about the speed of information dissemination and improved methods of presentation are insightful and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • plethora of resources
  • traditional textbooks
  • learning management systems
  • educational apps
  • interactive and engaging formats
  • better retention
  • personalized learning
  • catering to individual needs
  • global array of experts
  • broaden perspectives
  • learn at their own pace
  • absence of time constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: