The bar chart shows the number of immigrants to New Zealand from 2001 to 2004.

The bar chart illustrates the number of immigrants to New Zealand from Britain,

China

Use synonyms

, India, South Africa and Fiji, in the time period of 2001 to 2004.

Firstly

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who have immigrated from Britain to New Zealand

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

seems

Correct subject-verb agreement

seem

show examples

to be on a stable rise pattern from 2001 with around 5800

people

Use synonyms

, up until 2004 with about 8000

people

Use synonyms

. Unlike

Britan

Correct your spelling

Britain

show examples

China

Use synonyms

had

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

woblely

Correct your spelling

wobbly

record, reaching the peak in 2002 and 2003 which had around the same result of around 8000 individuals.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

India has always been

head to head

Add a hyphen

head-to-head

show examples

with

China

Use synonyms

, except in 2004, when India fell behind

China

Use synonyms

by about 2500

people

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, South Africa and Fiji

also

Linking Words

had similar numbers with less than 500 individuals difference, except in 2002, when South Africa took the lead by 1000 more

people

Use synonyms

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the number of immigrants to New Zealand

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

not been so

consistant

Correct your spelling

consistent

in countries with a less stable economy.

this

Linking Words

can be concluded based on Britain's result as a nation with a

stablaized

Correct your spelling

stabilised

economy.

Taha Sol.Wed Oct 23 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words china, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

172 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immigration trends
socio-economic factors
political stability
immigration policies
fluctuations
demographics
emigration
global events
incentives
nationalities
seasonal trends

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The bar chart shows the number of immigrants to New Zealand from 2001 to 2004.

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the Internet. While the Internet is helpful for students, it has many negative effects, and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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