Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life bring more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Life
keeps on changing with Use synonyms
passage
of time. It is considered by some individuals that Add an article
the passage
during
Change preposition
apply
adolescences
is Fix the agreement mistake
adolescence
more
enjoyable period of Add an article
a more
once
Correct your spelling
one
life
, rather Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
adulthood
as Use synonyms
Use synonyms
person
Add an article
the person
a person
get
occupied by Change the verb form
gets
the
duties. Upcoming writing will discuss that Correct article usage
apply
a
individual is Change the article
an
free minded
Add a hyphen
free-minded
whereas
during Linking Words
adulthood
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
have
Change the verb form
has
liberty
to make their own choices. I believe that in mature Add an article
the liberty
age
Use synonyms
one
can Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
their Replace the word
live
life
on their terms and conditions.
On the Use synonyms
one
side, during Use synonyms
the
adolescence Correct article usage
apply
youngster
do not have to worry about getting a job and Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
look
after Wrong verb form
looking
the
worldly affairs. Correct article usage
apply
Youngster
mostly live with their parents, who take care of their needs and Fix the agreement mistake
Youngsters
take
righteous Correct your spelling
make
decision
for the welfare of their kids. As parents look after their Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
adolescence
, they do not have to Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
take
Verb problem
feel
tension
about money or any type of problem in Replace the word
tense
life
. Use synonyms
Hence
, youngsters can enjoy their Linking Words
life
to Use synonyms
fullest
by spending on Correct article usage
the fullest
the
curricular activities.
On the other side, as Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
person
gets mature Add an article
a person
the person
than
he or she is able to Correct word choice
apply
take
decisions for themselves because Correct your spelling
make
Use synonyms
person
becomes independent at Add an article
a person
the person
this
Linking Words
age
. If an individual is financially stable Use synonyms
than
he or she can choose Correct your spelling
then
profession
of their choiceAdd an article
the profession
a profession
,
Correct word choice
and, moreover
moreover
decide when and with whom they wants to get married. Linking Words
Use synonyms
Person
can make do things which give them happiness. Add an article
A person
The person
Hence
, during Linking Words
adulthood
Use synonyms
Add a comma
,
person
is able to live Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
according to
their preference.
I believe that mature Linking Words
age
most enjoyable part of Use synonyms
life
, as Use synonyms
one
can live as Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
wish
. Correct subject-verb agreement
wishes
One
can Use synonyms
fulfill
their dreams. Apart from that Change the spelling
fulfil
one
can socialize with the people with whom they Use synonyms
wishes
.
Considering all the points above, Change the verb form
wish
one
can Use synonyms
enjoys
Change the verb form
enjoy
during
their young Correct pronoun usage
themselves during
age
because parents take care of them but at the same time Use synonyms
one
will have Use synonyms
freedom
to make Add an article
the freedom
Add an article
the decision
a decision
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
of
their Change preposition
about
life
in Use synonyms
adulthood
.Use synonyms
Submitted by simrantiwana1086 on
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task achievement
The essay looks at both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach. However, a clearer thesis statement in the introduction could strengthen the task achievement by clearly stating your position and what you plan to cover in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are difficult to follow because of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which affects coherence. Aim to improve sentence structure and grammar for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, use more linking words between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will help the reader understand and relate to the ideas you're presenting, such as a specific scenario of financial independence in adulthood.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for discussing two perspectives on happiness in teenage versus adult years.
task achievement
The conclusion summarizes your viewpoint effectively, reiterating the benefits of adult life and decision-making.
task achievement
The essay covers both positive aspects of teenage years and adulthood, displaying a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.