Raising househlod electricity fees is the most effective solution to the problems associated with power generation and environmental pollution. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective in reducing the environmental pollution caused by power generation?
It is often argued that
incresing
the cost of Correct your spelling
increasing
houeshold
utilities can solve the environmental problems caused by producing electricity. From my perspective, It seems convincing that raising household bills would not Correct your spelling
household
to
be helpful and that Fix the infinitive
apply
this
problem
can only truly be addressed by using clean energy
sources
.
To begin
with, day-to-day residential energy
consumption only accout
for a small part of Correct your spelling
account
accounts
overall
energy
use
. The environmental destruction casued
by Correct your spelling
caused
energy
production would remain a problem
even if residential consumption decreased as a result
of raising
Correct your spelling
rising
energy
costs. Factories and businesses should be the ones that are regulated since they are actually the main energy
consumers. For instance
, in the United States, industrial and commercial activities account for more than half of all energy
use
, while
residential energy
use
makes up only 20 per cent. Therefore
, burdening households with higher electricity bills would not lead to a great reduction in pollution
.
On the other hand
, there are other solutions to the problem
of pollution
. One of the ways to decrease the environmental damage caused by power
production is to expand the use
of clean, renewable energy
. Clean energy
sources
like solar, wind and hydroelectric power
do not produce pollution
to the same extent as fossil fuels. Developing more energy
systems that use
these sources
would reduce our reliance on fossil fuel-burning power
plants. For example
, the Korean government currently provides incentives for companies that convert their power
supply to renewable sources
. This
has boosted the growth of renewable energy
production considerably and means that Korea is on track to increase its use
of green power
sources
in the near future. This
would result in a major drop in country's
Correct article usage
the country's
overall
pollution
.
In conclusion, not enough energy
consumed
in households for raising electricity bills to have a positive impact on the Add a missing verb
is consumed
pollution
problem
. In this
regard, the issue can only be resolved by increasing the use
of cleaner alternative energy
resources.Submitted by jihyei0910 on
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task response
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your stance and summarizing the main points you will discuss. A clear thesis statement will provide better guidance to the reader throughout your essay.
task response
Ensure that you further develop the discussion on why alternatives like clean energy are a more effective solution than just raising household electricity fees.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more transitional phrases to enhance coherence and cohesion between paragraphs and sentences. This will improve the flow and logical progression of your arguments.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the case of the United States' industrial energy consumption and Korea's use of incentives for renewable energy, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments. The conclusion particularly reinforces the main points discussed.
coherence and cohesion
You maintained a logical structure, where each paragraph supports the main argument and follows a coherent flow of ideas.