Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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While
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it is unarguable that social
media
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bring about a number of benefits for people in several ways
profoudly
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profoundly
in communication and data gathering,
others
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argue that we
could not
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cannot
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denied
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deny
be denied
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the fact
the
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that
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sometimes these state-of-the-art innovations can
resulting
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result
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in negative concerns like
decline
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the decline
a decline
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in self-esteem among teenagers.
Hence
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, I personally agree with the former statement as it aids us to maintain
relationship
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relationships
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during the long distancing phase will be discussed
further
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in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, it seems sensible for some to believe that social
media
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is good.
This
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is possibly because it helps us to stay
contact
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in contact
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with people all the time without boundaries of
locations
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location
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. Take
long distance
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long-distance
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couple
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couples
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for example
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, without these sites the relationship could be more struggling as
they
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they are
they were
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unable to get
the
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apply
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updates from
the
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apply
show examples
others
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.
Also
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, social
media
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allows us to get
inform
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information
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with
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about
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the latest news unlike traditional printed
media
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one
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apply
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.
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On Instragram
show examples
Instragram
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Instagram
,
for instance
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, we can see how friends life
are
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is
show examples
doing by seeing their stories or posts that
has
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have
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been uploaded.
However
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, many opponents of
this
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idea might
opposed
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oppose
be opposed
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that these types of
media
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are bad seeing that getting excessive content
especially
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, especially
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the success of
others
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can
leading
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lead
show examples
to self-comparison. Though, getting inform
Therefore
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, there is
an
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apply
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evidence report that high percentages of youngsters
developing
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develop
show examples
a plummet in self-esteem
due to
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exposure
of
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to
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social
media
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. From my point of view, I strongly support
with
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apply
show examples
the positive side of social
media
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as it
offer
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offers
show examples
us alternative means of socialization. It is widely known that
human
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humans
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are social
animal
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animals
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and we enjoy
to get inform
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informing
show examples
Use synonyms
others'life
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others
. To illustrate, the pandemic of covid-19 that causing a global
lock-down
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lockdown
show examples
policy. Without it, we wouldn't be able to connect with each other and share our
feeling
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feelings
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toward
this
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critical phase of life. In summary,
althought
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although
it is undeniable that social
medias
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media
show examples
can pose some threat to us mentally, I am of the opinion that its positive effects of connecting people worldwide
outweight
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outweigh
its detrimental outcomes.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay to present your arguments in a more organized way. For instance, separating paragraphs for discussing advantages and disadvantages can improve clarity.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by elaborating more on each point, and avoid rushing to conclusions.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are supported by more specific examples. This helps in convincing the reader of your views effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a solid introduction that clearly states your position on the topic. This is important for guiding the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, providing a clear end to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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