In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?
People
from Use synonyms
countryside
move to big Add an article
the countryside
cities
these days in almost Use synonyms
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
every nation, Change preposition
apply
Linking Words
that
is leading to a significant drop in the rate of rural Correct pronoun usage
which
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
poupulation
. There are many reasons behind Correct your spelling
population
for
Change preposition
apply
this
situation, Linking Words
Linking Words
although
it has both positive and negative effects, Correct word choice
and although
i
believe that Change the capitalization
I
positive
outweigh the negative.
Correct article usage
the positive
To begin
with, moving to modern Linking Words
cities
has Use synonyms
serveral
negative impacts on the city and local Correct your spelling
several
people
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, increasing Linking Words
in
the population contributes to Change preposition
apply
insufficient
Correct article usage
the insufficient
accomodation
issue offered by the city.
Correct your spelling
accommodation
This
may cause Linking Words
Correct article usage
a siginificantly
siginificantly
increase in prices of apartment rental charges and prices of houses. Correct your spelling
significant
significantly
Seondly
, Correct your spelling
Secondly
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
poupulation
Correct your spelling
population
further
enhances Linking Words
usage
of vehicles, which is leading to Add an article
the usage
air
pollution Correct article usage
the air
issue
bigger in modern Fix the agreement mistake
issues
cities
. At the same time, decreasing Use synonyms
in
the Change preposition
apply
number of
population in rural areas may cause Correct quantifier usage
apply
lack
of human resources in different Correct article usage
a lack
kind
of offices and schools.
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
On the other hand
, there Linking Words
are
a wide range of benefits that can be gained from moving to big Change the verb form
is
cities
.
Use synonyms
People
tend to transfer Use synonyms
for getting
a better quality of life in various areas Change preposition
to get
such
as education, work, careers, and healthcare. The majority of Linking Words
people
who have Use synonyms
chidren
are willing to move for Correct your spelling
children
better
education system available in Correct article usage
a better
cities
when Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
compares
to Wrong verb form
compared
countryoutskirt
. For employees, a bunch of work Correct your spelling
country outskirt
opportunites
appeal Correct your spelling
opportunities
them
to upgrade their living standard and career. Meanwhile, looking at the Change preposition
to them
employers
perspectives, obtaining a variety of resources Change to a genitive case
employer's
employers'
such
Linking Words
ask
Correct your spelling
as
skillfull
labour Correct your spelling
skilful
skillfully
are
likely to be advantageous for them.
After consideration of all these aspects, I think moving to modern Correct subject-verb agreement
is
cities
would offer Use synonyms
better
quality of Add an article
a better
lives
for Fix the agreement mistake
life
people
, Use synonyms
that is
why Linking Words
benefits
are probably greater than Correct article usage
the benefits
drawbacks
in that situation.Correct article usage
the drawbacks
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more fully by providing specific, relevant examples. Concrete examples help strengthen your arguments and clarify your position.
coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by breaking down long sentences into shorter ones and be mindful of your spelling and grammatical accuracy. This will improve your essay's readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument regarding the movement from rural to urban areas, which shows a balanced approach to the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the topic and summarizing your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.