The grapg below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#grapg #information #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons

A glance at the graph provided reveals the relative popularity by comparing the number of participants in 5 various activities in a societal

club

in an Australian city, Melbourne during a period from 2000 to 2020. In general, passive activities like film watching seemed to be the most appealing and interesting in the

club

while

, activities demanding more physical movements like sport or art, drew less attention. With regard to motionless hobbies, it is evident that companionship with people of mutual interest and watching a movie were the choices of most of the

club

members at 65 individuals during the years in question. Yet by far the most significant change which took place during

this

period was the increased attractiveness of a kind of sport named table tennis. From a negligible number of 17 tennis players in 2000, it reached a high number of 55 in 2020.

Likewise

, some

club

members commenced to find musical performances more pleasing with 18 musicians in 2020 in comparison to zero participants at earlier times. In stark contrast,

however

, having a tendency to be blurred, participants in amateur dramatics plunged from 30 in 2005 to nearly 0 in 2020

Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on Thu Oct 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Include specific figures or examples directly from the data to strengthen the evaluation of trends.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a good introductory overview of the graph's content and main trends.

task achievement

There is clear categorization of activities into passive and active, which aids in understanding comparisons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

195 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
research haas shown that he transportaion of product and people are the main source of pollution. some people believe he government should be in charge of this, while others belive it is the fault of individuals. disuss both views and give your opinion?
it is true that the main reason for pollution is caused by folks and the type of transportation they use. Therefore, there has been controversy about whether this issue is led by the government or is an individual fault. From my perspective, I believe it is the government's responsibility to do something to reduce the amount of pollution.
6
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  ?
People have different views about whether children should be taught to be competitive or co-operative. While a spirit of competition can sometimes be useful in life, I believe that the ability to co-operate is more important.
6
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some people argue that it is good procedure to share information in scientific research , business and the academic world, while others have different views ,They claim that some information can not be shared freely since it is important and valuable. In my opinion, it would be beneficial if people received useful information that might affect their lives and societies activities.
4
band
Discussion Some people get into debt buying things they don’t need and can’t ‎afford.What are the reasons for this behaviour?What action can be taken ‎to prevent people having this problem?‎
Wonder syndrome from costumers during shopping time is the interesting topic that some oponets want to explore of the reasons what happened for people to have a specific products ,however, shopping behaviour is a complex system that designated through advertisment and ability of costumers recognition for quality and price in speedy for choosing products which are not classified into a group of goods that are not essential for routine life ,moreever, pandolous behaviour is the origin ability of human for assessing and calculating ,however , I am going to clarify the possible reasons .
7.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
It is true that some people believe music is a bridge to connect people from different cultures and ages. While I agree music is a form of common feelings expression, people who are older or conservative may refuse to understand music from different cultures.

The grapg below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

research haas shown that he transportaion of product and people are the main source of pollution. some people believe he government should be in charge of this, while others belive it is the fault of individuals. disuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. ?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Discussion Some people get into debt buying things they don’t need and can’t ‎afford.What are the reasons for this behaviour?What action can be taken ‎to prevent people having this problem?‎

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.  ?