The grapg below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#grapg #information #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
A glance at the graph provided reveals the relative popularity of various activities in a societal club in an Australian city, Melbourne during a period from 2000 to 2020.
It is interesting to note that film clubs and martial arts had the first and second stage in terms of the number of
participants
at 65 and 35 respectively in 2000, nonetheless
, regardless of some fluctuations the numbers remained unchanged for the following 20 years.
Yet by far the most significant downward change to take place during this
period was the decreased popularity of motionless hobbies. Possessing between 25 to 30 audiences from 2000 to 2005, dramatic amateur participants
plunged to the lowest level with a mere 5 in 2020. Musical performance, nevertheless
, was an exception among other passive activities. Despite drewing
no attention until 2005, it experienced significant growth and succeeded in attracting 30 audiences in 2020.
In stark contrast, Correct your spelling
drawing
however
, the only activity involving participants
' cooperation was the tennis table. Having between 15 to 20 tennis players from 2000 to 2010, it not only overtook martial arts but soared to more than 50 players in 2020.
To sum up
, the number of participants
in activities associated with the participants
' cooperation had a tendency to grow, while
attendees of most other passive hobbies experienced either a steady or downward trend.Submitted by golriiz.azizi1991 on
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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that all main trends and details from the graph are addressed. Consider briefly explaining any noticeable fluctuations that occurred throughout the period.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, you can enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logically connects with subsequent details.
coherence cohesion
Enhancing detail in the description of trends will improve clarity. For instance, specify more about the fluctuations in numbers, such as when exactly certain increases or declines occurred.
task achievement
Use more varied and precise vocabulary related to data description (such as 'fluctuations,' 'growth,' 'decline') to provide clear, precise ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a broad description of the data, effectively identifying significant trends in participant numbers across different activities.
task achievement
A good attempt has been made to summarize and compare the activities, providing a balanced overview of both increases and decreases in participation.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the information presented and rounds off the report neatly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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