IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The pie cart shows the amount of money that a children’s charity located in the USA spent and received in one year,2016.

#cart #amount #money #children’s #charity #usa #year
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The graph gives information
the
Change preposition
on the
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 income and expenditure of a children’s charity based in the USA during the year 2016. Looking at an
overall
 structure,it is readily apparent that,donated food contributed the majority of the charity’s revenue,comprising 86% of the total.
Likewise
,in terms of expenses,program services dominated,accounting for 95.8%. The remaining categories were significantly smaller. Community contributions, the second largest source of revenue, made up 10.4% of the total, followed by program revenue at 2.2%. Investment income, government grants, and other income were minimal, contributing just 0.8% collectively. The only other expense categories were fundraising and management and general,
constituted
Correct pronoun usage
which constituted
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 2,6% and 1.6%,respectively.The whole profit was $53,561,580,which was sufficient to cover the
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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 of $53,224,896.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be done by using linking words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear, but adding a brief summary or conclusion at the end of the essay will enhance completeness.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate slightly more on how the figures relate or impact one another to give depth to your response.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear analysis of the primary revenue and expense sources, which is crucial.
task achievement
The use of specific data points reinforces the points made and demonstrates a good understanding of the information.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and follow a consistent order, making it easy for the reader to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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