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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

These days a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 think about
needed
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
 to
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 new homes because
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
they
their
did
Verb problem
have
show examples
 not found
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
there
So, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the space available on the courtyside.
While
Linking Words
 others believe that they should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
protect
ther
Correct your spelling
their
the
 coutryside.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion with opinion.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, the
counrtyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 has
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 beautiful in many of
counrtys
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, B just anyone
go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 he will feel a
comfortuble
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 and show the flowers and rose on the soil.
Secondly
Linking Words
, anyone
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 the
coutyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
feel from within the soul a happy without any obligation.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
building
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
houses in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
coutyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 the shipe for
courty
Correct your spelling
courtesy
 will be bad and
damage
Wrong verb form
damaged
show examples
 So,
that is
Linking Words
 why I prefer personally to did not
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
 that.
For example
Linking Words
, even
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
though thier
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
they
 make a lot of houses will be not the same
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
 the
counrty
Correct your spelling
country
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand, building a new
homese
Correct your spelling
home
homes
 it is important to stay in the country and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not go an immigrant.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
nedd ro
Correct your spelling
need to
leave
Correct your spelling
live
show examples
 anywhere in the
courty
Correct your spelling
country
county
that is
Linking Words
wht
Correct your spelling
what
why
 we should not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
leave them. In
additions
Fix the agreement mistake
addition
show examples
until
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
building
Wrong verb form
builds
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
homes they need to space
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more and more because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity an
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
 to protect
people
Use synonyms
 from poverty and lack of livelihood. In conclusion, after analysis of both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
view
Change preposition
of view
show examples
, I believe that to keep the
counrtyside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 as it is because it is the
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
weathers
Fix the agreement mistake
weather
show examples
 and I
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 to keep it.

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task achievement
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Make sure all main points are well-supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay for better cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion to effectively summarize your points.
coherence cohesion
Use connecting words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Clearly addresses both sides of the argument in the introduction.
task achievement
Provides a personal opinion and conclusion.
task achievement
Attempts to discuss both the aesthetic and practical aspects of the countryside.
task achievement
Includes examples to illustrate points, even if not entirely specific.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
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