With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources.

It is admitted that
humanity’s
Change noun form
humanity
show examples
lack
Correct subject-verb agreement
lacks
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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new
energetic
Replace the word
energy
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resources,
however
a
lot
of people believe that we ought to keep discovering new areas with fossil fuels, but it will make
even
Correct pronoun usage
it even
show examples
more
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
for us.
Firstly
, scientists claim that there isn’t much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oil and gas which we haven’t been using.
Therefore
, if we continue unpacking new areas, our descendants won’t have any materials to support their factories.
Moreover
, a huge number of animals and fish are extinct now,
due to
drilling platforms, that are especially popular in the USA, and other mines.
For example
, a
lot
of accidents occur in the Caribbean Sea every year.
Secondly
, humanity has green ways to produce
energy
,
such
as wind turbines and solar panels.
Although
nuclear stations are not completely safe, if workers follow rules, they can produce a giant amount of
energy
without any
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
.
For instance
, France mostly
use
Change the verb form
uses
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nuclear powers and their citizens have cheap
energy
. Admittedly, countries nowadays aren’t able to end using oil and gas, because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
green stations require a
lot
of land and produce a
little
Correct word choice
small
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amount of
energy
.
Also
,
such
projects need financial support.
Nevertheless
, not only governments but
also
private companies should seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the opportunity to invest in greener and safer means of producing
energy
.
To conclude
all
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
that has been stated, in my view mining and
then
using fossil fuels harms the environment and is really limited. There
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot
of safer and greener options.
However
, they are not perfect and
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to be improved.
Submitted by leshchynser on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider elaborating on your arguments with more detailed explanations and examples. This will help make your points clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, make sure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one and introduces the next one. Use additional linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in framing the argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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