People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
it is widely debated that
people
who continue to fix on
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
job that they had decided during
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
phase
are generally have
Change the verb form
generally have
show examples
more
happy
Correct word choice
happier
show examples
working life than those who
change
it more often, others argue that the fixation of
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
career does not indicate
level
Add an article
the level
a level
show examples
of
one
's satisfaction.
Hence
, I strongly support
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latter statement as working in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
does not always create joy in the long run will be discussed
further
in
this
essay.
To begin
with, it may seem sensible for some to believe that
people
who
fixed
Add a missing verb
are fixed
show examples
with their
jobs
will have more joy than the others.
This
is
possibly
Replace the adverb
possible
show examples
because society often
view
Change the verb form
views
show examples
people
who
change
new
jobs
several times are those who
unhappy
Add a missing verb
are unhappy
show examples
with their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
making
Change the form of the verb
makes
show examples
them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
find something else. It is noticeable youngster nowadays
change
jobs
very often
due to
certain benefits from the
coperate
Correct your spelling
corporate
that does not meet their standard.
However
, I personally argue in favour of those who
change
jobs
frequently seeing that it
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of experiences and challenges that some
people
value. As a matter of fact, some
people
who
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same
jobs
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
a length of time may not always
happy
Add a missing verb
be happy
show examples
with their
jobs
and
thus
continue to their same routine for other considerations
such
as stable incomes and benefits they gained. In
this
sense, it could
implied
Change the verb form
be implied
imply
show examples
that
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
one
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
for life does not
one
's happiness.
Therefore
, there was a study report that doing the same routine can create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychological
breakdown
Fix the agreement mistake
breakdowns
show examples
like the feeling of
burn-out
Correct your spelling
burnout
show examples
more than those who
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
in several
jobs
before. In summary,
although
it is undeniable that those who
work
in
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
they
had been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
chosen for life might be much happier, I am of the opinion that restricting to
one
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
does not indicate a
prolong
Replace the word
prolonged
show examples
individual's joy than others as doing repetitive
work
can eventually leading us to boredom at some point.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Clarify some of the sentences to improve readability and ensure your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively.
language accuracy
Avoid minor grammatical errors like verb tense and article usage, which may impact understanding slightly, but overall communication is effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The writer effectively addresses both perspectives of the debate, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, transitioning from agreeing with the conventional view to presenting a personal argument.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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