More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the modern world, many

kids

Use synonyms

will be affected by obesity in wealthy states.

This

Linking Words

is a negative trend for rich republics.

This

Linking Words

essay will argue that

kids

Use synonyms

' lifestyles and overconsumption of junk food are the main reasons for it, and it will influence the number of deaths caused by heart attacks. In terms of precipitation, many

kids

Use synonyms

have inactive daily lives. Most of them play games online and spend a huge amount of their time on it,

however

Linking Words

, it is mainly caused by ignorance in aspects of upbringing and less control.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many households can't look after their

kids

Use synonyms

all the time so children prefer to buy tastier and cheaper food which is often junk food.

For example

Linking Words

, in the US, scientists found

Use synonyms

kids'obesity

Correct your spelling

kids obesity

and emphasised that the young who spend more time with their families had less

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fat. Notably, most of the youngsters liked

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and other different hobbies.

dimash.shaitmahmetFri Oct 25 2024

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task achievement

Provide a more explicit introduction to outline the essay's structure. Mention more causes and effects with examples.

coherence cohesion

Enhance logical flow between ideas. Use linking words effectively to connect points.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clear conclusion summarizing key arguments and highlighting the significance of the problem.

task achievement

The essay identifies key causes of childhood obesity, such as inactive lifestyles and junk food consumption.

task achievement

The example about children in the US is specific and relevant to the topic, enhancing comprehension.

coherence cohesion

The essay addresses a serious issue and begins to explore its wider implications, which is a strong start.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

154 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
calorie intake
sedentary lifestyle
nutritional understanding
overfeeding
convenience over nutrition
electronic devices
dietary choices
self-esteem
medical expenditure
academic success

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress at work. They should only care about the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

according to an international travel magazine, many tourists today fly straight to their holiday resort and almost never leave it. Unlike tourists in the 1960s and 70s they return home with no experience of local culture. Why do you think this happens? How was tourism different in the past?

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people think that in the mordern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.