In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

In some cultures, many times

children

Use synonyms

are told that they can achieve anything if they try very hard. The advantages of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

mesages

Correct your spelling

messages

are

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

children

Use synonyms

hardworking and

increases

Correct subject-verb agreement

increase

show examples

their focus. The drawbacks are

children

Use synonyms

become

daydreamer

Fix the agreement mistake

daydreamers

show examples

, and it affects their

confidence

Use synonyms

. If

children

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are told that anything can be achieved by trying hard, they will become hardworking. They will be encouraged to attain anything through their constant hard

work

Use synonyms

and dedication.

Moreover

Linking Words

, trying to achieve

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

success through hard

work

Use synonyms

allows

children

Use synonyms

to increase their focus. They become more focused

to achieve

Change preposition

on achieving

show examples

something and maintain that until they reach their goals.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Bangladesh,

children

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are told that if they can achieve high scores in their exams by their hard

work

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, they will get rewards.

This

Linking Words

helps them to keep focused until they achieve their goals.

However

Linking Words

, one of the drawbacks of teaching

children

Use synonyms

anything can be achieved through hard

work

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

become daydreamers. They cannot think practically and cannot set smart goals to achieve.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

lose their

confidence

Use synonyms

if they are given the message that anything can be achieved by hard

work

Use synonyms

. When through hard

work

Use synonyms

they cannot achieve that, it affects their

confidence

Use synonyms

, and in the

future

Add a comma

future,

show examples

they do not want to encounter challenges.

For instance

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

in India,

once

Add a missing verb

were once

show examples

told that they

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

achieve anything if they

remain

Wrong verb form

remained

show examples

focused.

Children

Use synonyms

believed that but could not achieve that anticipated goal ultimately. That severely affects the

confidence

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, if

children

Use synonyms

are told that they can achieve anything through hard

work

Use synonyms

, it makes them hardworking and increases their focus.

However

Linking Words

, it affects their

confidence

Use synonyms

and makes them daydreamers.

rahman_rehana

Oct 26, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to add specific transitions or linking words between paragraphs and ideas, such as 'On the other hand' or 'Therefore', to enhance the flow of arguments.

task achievement

Avoid repeating the same sentence structure or words, and try to vary your expressions for a more sophisticated writing style.

task achievement

The essay clearly outlines both advantages and disadvantages, showing a well-rounded consideration of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion, helping the reader to understand the main points and the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Encouragement
Motivation
Determination
Work Ethic
Persistence
Self-esteem
Confidence
Challenges
Unrealistic Expectations
Disappointment
Frustration
Limitations
External Factors
Pressure
Stress
Anxiety
Mental Health

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

Your opinion

Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet whereas others believe that we can alter our behavior and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that young children under 18 years old should not be allow to go out after midnight, while other thinks the opposite? Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some cultures, childeren are often told that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. To what extent you thing the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?