In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first few months after the birth of their baby. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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The issue of female employees
is
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being
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permitted to take several months off after
give
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giving
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birth to their babies has sparked considerable debate over whether the
advantage
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advantages
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overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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while
Linking Words
there are certain drawbacks to
women
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are
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being
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allowed to take
maternity
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leave, the benefits far outweigh these disadvantages.
This
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essay will explore both
side
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sides
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of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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. Taking
maternity
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leave is beneficial to
women
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’s performance
,
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apply
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because it takes time for them to
paper
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prepare
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for returning to
work
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.
Women
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are normally physically weak as a large proportion of them experience
problem
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problems
show examples
.
For example
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, eating disorder sleeping difficulties and unintended changes in weight and all these problems will influence their mood and mental. They need to stay at home for a period of time to eat nourishing meals and do some exercises.
Linking Words
Then
Correct your spelling
They
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can regain their stamina especially when they
work
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in some high-stress jobs.
Also
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take
maternity
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leave
This
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boosts the productivity of their employers because after several
months
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months'
month's
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break, they will have more passion for
work
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.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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take
Wrong verb form
taking
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few
Correct article usage
a few
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months
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month's
months'
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leave after
give
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giving
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birth to their babies
have
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has
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negative
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a negative
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effect on
women
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’s career advancement
due to
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the fact, they may not keep peace with change in the workplace, the world of
work
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is changing constantly operation of business can be altered frequently by technical progress.
For instance
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,in the information technology sector
women
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who are absent from
work
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for a long time may find it
difficultly
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difficult
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to carry out some tasks if new technology has been incorporated
.
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Moreover
moreover
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some high senior positions may be filled by people who have continued to develop expertise without asking for many parental leave .in
this
Linking Words
regard an extended
maternity
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leave does not benefit
women
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.
Overall
Linking Words
despite the fact that will
take
Verb problem
have
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negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on
women
Use synonyms
’s
career
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careers
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,the benefits
are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them.
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, ensure your ideas are clearly expressed and directly relevant to the question. Your argument that maternity leave enhances productivity is a good start but needs more evidence to support this claim.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by organizing your points logically. Consider clearer paragraphing and separating benefits and drawbacks into distinct sections.
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by using linking words effectively to connect your ideas and paragraphs, making your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to address both sides, which is crucial in task achievement.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as changes due to technological advancements, which support your main points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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