Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

Recently, an increasing number of countries have decided to introduce
laws
to limit working
hours
for those
employees
.
This
decision can be illustrated by many reasons,
such
as the balance between
work
and life,
as well as
the health and productivity of
employees
. Though that issue has
both
advantages and drawbacks,
it is clear that
the advantages outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
.
Basiclly
Correct your spelling
Basically
, the primary purpose of those
laws
is to make it easier to balance
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
lives
and jobs. Excessive working
hours
will reduce
work
efficiency and diminish the power to push individuals to
work
hard for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wages.
For instance
, research has
came
Change the verb form
come
show examples
up with
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
idea that
employees
whose working
hours
are shorter usually can be more productive and creative during their working time, with a higher level of positive energy.
Hence
,
such
a policy can significantly benefit
both
entrepreneurs and
employees
by enhancing output, job
saticfaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
and the activeness of working. What's more, limiting working
hours
can
also
lower the percentage of health problems happening. Long working
hours
will lead to
both
physical and mental diseases.
For example
, nations like South Korea, which requires
a really long working
Correct the article-noun agreement
really long working hours
a really long working hour
show examples
hours
, offer
people
with a stressful daily life and
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
possibility of the problem in waist, heart and head
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. With a lower standard of healthy life, most of those
people
will suffer from more than just diseases. If South Korea can shorten the working
hours
, individuals can have more purchasing power
due to
the falling healthcare costs,
thus
benefiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth. Critics may argue that it cannot be always
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
because of the lack of
employees
who can
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
show examples
for a long time and the decreasing competitiveness.
However
,
this
phenomenon only will happen in
short
Add an article
the short
show examples
run. In
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
run, with a healthy cycle of finishing programs,
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the entrepreneurs and
employees
can have a better performance in their
work
,
along side
Correct your spelling
alongside
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a creative, smart and active brain.
Furthermore
, after adapting
those
Change preposition
to those
show examples
circumstances, more jobs in companies will be provided, leading to less unemployment,
while
also
having
Verb problem
making
show examples
efforts
in increasing
Change preposition
to increase
show examples
the output of those companies.
As a result
, national markets can have the opportunity to widen the range of goods and
industies
Correct your spelling
industries
, to develop more scarce resources, and to higher
people
's real income which encourages them to buy more products in the market. So it is
evidently
Change the word
evident
show examples
that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. In conclusion, though
there're
Correct your spelling
there are
show examples
still many critical thinking points that cannot agree, it is indeed a great choice to make
such
laws
. The introduction of
laws
to limit working
hours
is a significantly positive development in the government
work
to provide more welfare to
people
who are living in the country.
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task achievement
Consider revising sections for conciseness. Some sentences are wordy and could be clearer with fewer words.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are expanded adequately to give a comprehensive support for each argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and try to use a broader range of linking words to enhance fluency.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively and follows a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Examples provided effectively illustrate the points made, particularly those relating to productivity and health issues.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas and uses paragraphs well to separate different arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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