Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading fiction (such as novels and short stories) is more enjoyable than watching movies. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

People may be satisfied by reading some literature or by watching
watching
Remove the redundancy
apply
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Add an article
the film
a film
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film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
.
Although
watching movies can be delightful with the way of doing nothing, reading
books
is not only enjoyable
,
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but beneficial for vocabulary and memory. I agree with the statement that reading fiction may be more enjoyable than watching it on TV. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
film
does not contain as much deep information as it contains
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
.
For example
, there are numerous movies which were based on
books
,
however
, directors are trying to cut some scenes to make them shorter.
Due to
this
reason, in the
book
form, people may notice much more accumulations compared with cinemas.
Therefore
, reading can improve vocabulary and give helpful pieces of knowledge.
On the other hand
, people may find it pleasant to watch a movie
instead
of a
book
. The main reason for
this
is that it does not include any activities, so in
this
way, you may fully relax.
For example
, many workaholics may be too tired to force their eyes to read, that's why, they choose to just watch a
film
, where all actions are depicted, and they do not have to strain their minds.
Therefore
, watching ready and shorter forms of
books
may be much easier. In conclusion, in my point of view, both reading
books
and watching films are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
very good ways to relax,
nevertheless
, it depends on the person.
For example
, if
it
Correct pronoun usage
he
she
show examples
is a
book
lover, he will prefer to read,
while
another type of person will watch
film
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and detailed. For instance, when discussing how films cut scenes, provide concrete examples of popular adapted movies where this happens.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are comprehensively presented by clearly stating and elaborating on each main point. This will enhance the reader's understanding of your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Consider revising the topic sentences to ensure they clearly convey the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Utilize linking phrases more consistently to smoothly guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing the stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, effectively considering different perspectives.
task achievement
Your use of comparative language shows a good ability to weigh contrasting ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively ties together your main points, solidifying your stance on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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