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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home rather than going into an office each day.Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

#companies #employees #work #home #office #policy
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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
an
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 increasing number of businesses give permission to their workforces to
work
Use synonyms
 from their homes
instead
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 of their workplace.
While
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 there are some perks
in
Change preposition
to
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 working in the offices
instead
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 of remote
work
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, I believe that its drawbacks overshadow its advantages.
Firstly
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,
one
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 of the drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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remote
work
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 rather than going to the
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
 is that employees lose the opportunity to meet and
intract
Correct your spelling
interact
 with
one
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 another which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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to
Change preposition
apply
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a lack of communication in the company.
For example
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, if
people
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 just be in touch with their colleagues
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by
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with
Change preposition
by
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 Email or
Change noun form
companie
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Correct your spelling
company's
companie's
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companie
show examples
 website, they might never get to know
one
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 another.
Furthermore
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, for some
people
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 there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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myred
Correct your spelling
many
 distractions in their
Use synonyms
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 and they can not
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on their
work
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. For
imstanse
Correct your spelling
instance
, some
people
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 living with their family
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can get distracted by their voices.
Also
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, social media
coule
Correct your spelling
could
 be
another sources
Replace the adjective
another source
other sources
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 of distraction which is more
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 and available at
home
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 because there is not any observation
on
Change preposition
of
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 using them.
On the other hand
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, the policy in which individuals are allowed to
work
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 from their homes
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 has several positive points
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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one
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 of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is
Wrong verb form
being
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 for
people
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 who tend to take care of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
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 at
home
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.
This
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 policy would be particularly beneficial
fore
Correct your spelling
for
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 those who can not afford the
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
expences
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expenses
show examples
 or simply just want to spend more time with their children.
Moreover
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, the other significant benefit of
this
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 program is that they are able to
work
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 from other places and their
worke place
Correct your spelling
workplace
 would be flexible. It means that their activities at
work
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 not
associate
Replace the word
associated
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 with
phisycal
Correct your spelling
physical
 presence. For illustration, employees could continue their
work
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 even
in
Change preposition
on
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 vacation. In conclusion, the program in which
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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 can perform their
work
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 in their
home
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instead
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 of going to the office could cause difficulties in communication with coworkers and
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
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 focusing on the
work
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.
However
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, I believe that its benefits
overweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh it
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 because it can assist families
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 taking care of their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 at
home
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 and
work
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 from various places.
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on

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Grammatical Issues
Ensure that you proofread your essay to correct minor spelling and grammar issues, such as 'interact,' 'myriad,' 'concentrate,' 'childcare expenses,' 'workplaces,' and 'employees.'
Example Improvement
Provide more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how social media can be distracting when working from home.
Coherence Enhancement
Make sure each paragraph flows logically into the next to improve the overall coherence of your essay.
Structure
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Balanced Argumentation
You present a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
Conclusion Strength
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reiterating the main points presented in the essay.
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