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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as a school subject, but others argue that it would be a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #students #study #news #waste #time
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Some are of the opinion that studying international
news
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 as a subject in secondary schools is a good idea,
while
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 others evaluate it as a waste of precious school time.
Although
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usefulness
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the usefulness
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 of
a
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apply
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knowledge of events happening in the world is
undoubtable
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undoubtedly
, for teens of age
from
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apply
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11 to 14
such
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an
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apply
show examples
information can be insufficient. In my opinion, the school's system should include
this
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 subject, but with a smaller number of classes than the basic ones (math, biology, chemistry, history). On the one hand,
knowledge
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the knowledge
a knowledge
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 that would be taken from the classes of international
news
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 would help children
in understanding
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understand
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consequences
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the consequences
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 of the actions about which they read in history, that include understanding how quarrels between different cultures in modern times appeared.
For example
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, difficult relations between Europe and Russia that took place from the end of the
second
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Second
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 World War
as well as
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 its impact on modern days.
On the other hand
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, demanding from children fool understanding of the world’s events and their meaning for the society is too much.
In addition
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, making children
of
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aware of
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news
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 about war or terroristic acts may turn them into rather anxious people.
For instance
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, hearing of the war between Ukraine and Russia or Palestine and Israel may lead teens to
the
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apply
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feelings of insecurity and fear. In conclusion,
while
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 there are valid arguments on both sides of the debate, incorporating international
news
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 into the curriculum can enhance students' understanding of the world. It promotes critical thinking and prepares them to be informed citizens.
Therefore
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, I believe that international
news
Use synonyms
 should have a place in secondary education.
Submitted by dimash.shaitmahmet on

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Improvement
Work on providing clearer and more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing the impact of international news on students' understanding of history, you might elaborate on specific historical events and their modern implications.
Improvement
Enhance the connection between the points and examples you give to ensure they effectively support your argument.
Improvement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss in your essay, and your conclusion should summarize these points effectively to provide a strong closure.
Strength
You have successfully included contrasting viewpoints, which provides a balanced discussion.
Strength
The essay's introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear start and finish to your discussion.
Strength
You have effectively identified and described the key issues surrounding the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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