IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science would be improve people's life. What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Scientific innovation is the most
purpose
Correct word choice
important purpose
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to rise
Verb problem
in
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 daily life. At present, we are passing days by using different types of useful gadgets and innovations which are so convenient and it is increasing day by day. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I am going to demonstrate some relevant points in support of my standpoints. There are a number of innovations happening all over the world and it is rising significantly, but
this
Linking Words
 scientific innovation aims to improve people's lives.
However
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, scientists have the nature to discover new things which leads to assisting daily work.
For instance
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, Dynamite was invented for mining but now it is
also
Linking Words
 known as the ingredient of weapons which has threatened any country.
Subsequently
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, many scientists do research particular things which have more advantages
such
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 as Nano robots tend to aim for medical recharge. Most of the research is actually based on our daily purposes how is it more suitable and can reach
low-stages
Correct your spelling
low-stage
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 people. But many discoveries are built for useful situations so that it can reduce the risk but it is actually used for harmful works.
For example
Linking Words
, the telecommunication system already proved that it is more essential
therefore
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 it is
also
Linking Words
 used for c commenting
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
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 by terrorists . So, the main radical point is that scientists aim to discover new things for improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily life, but we will understand it when it is used.
To conclude
Linking Words
, innovations are a blessing when it would be useful or necessary.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it should enhance people's lives which is
goal
Add an article
the goal
a goal
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for
Change preposition
of
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 every scientist.

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advice.task response
Your ideas are presented clearly, but there's room for improvement in organizing them cohesively. Consider using more clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow.
advice.task response
Ensure each supporting point is thoroughly developed with specific examples. Although examples are provided, they could be more detailed and directly relevant to the thesis to strengthen your argument.
advice.coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, try to increase their impact by rounding off with a summary of key points or a thought-provoking statement in the conclusion. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
highlight.introduction
You have successfully introduced the topic and your stance clearly at the beginning, setting the stage for your essay.
highlight.introduction conclusion
Your essay features a conclusion that summarizes your argument, adding to the overall completeness.
highlight.coherence consistency
The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic, contributing to the essay's coherence.
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