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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

international visitors to New Zeland: country of origin

#visitors #zeland #country #origin
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The pie chart illustrates how many
people
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 from different
countries
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 visit New Zealand.
Overall
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, the biggest amount of
people
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 come from Australia,
while
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 the smallest group of
visitors
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 comes from South Korea. Tourists from Japan and China don’t often visit New Zealand, but there are
visitors
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 from the UK and
US
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the US
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. The percentage of
visitors
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 from Australia is the highest, at 40
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percent
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per cent
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. The next large group comes from the UK- 12
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percent
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per cent
show examples
,
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apply
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 and 9
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percent
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per cent
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 go to the US.
Visitors
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 from China are 5
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percent
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per cent
show examples
,
people
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 from Japan are 4
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percent
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per cent
show examples
, and only 3
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percent
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per cent
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 of the total number of
visitors
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 come from South Korea to New Zealand. 27
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percent
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per cent
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 of tourists come from other
countries
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. More than 60
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percent
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per cent
show examples
 of tourists are from English-speaking
countries
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. 12
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percent
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per cent
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 of
visitors
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 are from East Asian
countries
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.
However
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,
this
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 is calculated without taking into account 27
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percent
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per cent
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 of
people
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 from other
countries
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.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
Ensure all percentages are supported with specific data from the chart for better clarity and thoroughness.
coherence cohesion
Consider providing a summary statement or concluding remark to encapsulate the main findings.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and accurate description of the data from the pie chart, effectively highlighting the main points.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with clear paragraphs and a natural flow of information.
task achievement
Good use of data from the chart to support the description, making the analysis specific and grounded.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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