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Band 1.5

Some people believe that homework is unnecessary and shoul be banned to school.

#people #homework #shoul #school
Giving
homework
 to
children
 is unnecessary,because when
children
 have
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much
homeworkor
Correct your spelling
homework or
homework
 find
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 challenging.May
children
 learn
good
Change the word
well
show examples
,but I think giving
homework
 to
children
unnecessary
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
is mostly positive When
children
 do
homework
,
theydevelops
Correct your spelling
they develops
they develop
responsibility
 and
time
 management skills.
Homework
 is
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
show examples
 tool for teaching
children
responsibility
 and
time
 management.When teachers give tasks to students,they
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the tasks with less
responsibility
 and in the future,they will do their work
responsibility
Replace the word
responsibly
show examples
 by dividing the
time
 for their work correctly. When
children
 have too much
homework
 or find
assigments
Correct your spelling
assignments
 too
challeging
Correct your spelling
challenging
,it can create significant stress and anxiety.
Children
 study until midnight in the evening,without sleeping,it affects them,their brains get tired and nervous they become depressed,they spend the
time
 without studying saying they did not do it
this
also
 leads to stress like
this
,it
makeschikdren
Correct your spelling
makes children
 tired,so
homework
 should not be given.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate ideas into different paragraphs. For example, a distinct introductory paragraph, several body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph can greatly enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and repeats the thesis.
task achievement
Support your points with specific and relevant examples. For instance, when discussing the negative effects of homework, you could reference studies or personal anecdotes.
task achievement
Make sure all ideas presented are fully developed and effectively address the topic. Reading through each point to ensure it links back to the main argument can help improve the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Your essay includes a viewpoint that addresses the topic, recognizing both potential positives and negatives of homework.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges a crucial point: the stress and anxiety too much homework can create, which is a significant aspect of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Despite some grammatical errors, you've managed to convey your main ideas effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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