IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Risk
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 is an inextricable element of
life
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 as we all experience it in both
professional
Correct pronoun usage
our professional
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lives
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 and personal
lives
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. In my opinion, I believe
risk
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-taking has more merits than its demerit, as it can bring more possibilities to
life
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. In terms of professional
lives
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, taking
risks
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 can lead to greater achievements. Some people might think that having a mediocre professional objective is enough.
However
Linking Words
,
life
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 is a process of pursuing higher goals and better performance. If we never take
risks
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 in our work, we might
lost
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lose
be lost
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 a sense of momentum, which stops us
driving
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from driving
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 forward.
Moreover
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,
risks
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 are attended by opportunities, potentially bringing people
the
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apply
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excitement for
life
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. A
risk
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 of work could be quitting
current
Correct pronoun usage
your current
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 job for a higher position, which is a huge concern for people today. Personally, I claim that once you put
the
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in the
show examples
 effort for
changing
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change
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 and
ready
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are ready
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 to face the
risks
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, you are not far away from
succees
Correct your spelling
success
. As for personal
lives
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,
risk
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-taking is a way for
use
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 to know ourselves better. We make numerous decisions
everyday
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every day
show examples
 in
life
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, and at the same time, we are facing
risks
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 too.
For example
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,
traveling
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travelling
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 could lead to the
risk
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 of danger,
eating
Correct word choice
and eating
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 outside could result in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
risk
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of
Change preposition
to
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 health. There are countless decisions we
are making
Wrong verb form
make
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 are
risks
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, which navigate us to take
risks
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for
Change preposition
to
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fulfilling
Wrong verb form
fulfil
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 our needs.
On the other hand
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, before taking
risks
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 we are supposed to do
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risk
Add an article
a risk
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 assessment and to be fully prepared as it might arouse detrimental problems. By assessing the
risk
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, we learn to
having
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have
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 deeper thoughts and
doing
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do
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 self-reflection. In conclusion,
taking-
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taking risks
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risks
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 is a lifelong lesson for everyone.
Althought
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Although
 it is risky and it might cause failure, the most precious thing is that we can learn from it as it requires us to evaluate all the
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the sensation of taking
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
also
Linking Words
 empowers
human
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humans
show examples
 to progress and to be motivated for both professional and personal
lives
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.

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relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure to clarify the points with more detailed explanations to enhance clarity and understanding.
introduction conclusion present
The essay successfully presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the question, addressing both professional and personal aspects of risk-taking.
logical structure
The logical flow of ideas is generally smooth, making it easy to follow the argumentation.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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