“In spite of the advantages made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.” Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?
Although
many advancements in farming
Correct article usage
the farming
industy
have happened, there are still numerous individuals who are starving. there do exist a number of reasons in which Correct your spelling
industry
this
crises have Change the determiner
these
occurrd
Correct your spelling
occurred
such
as unequal distributions of crops
and limited access to them for all people
.
To begin
with, one of the key factors of this
issue is that distribution of the crops
and farming products
are
not equal among Correct subject-verb agreement
is
people
. Many access
to vast Add a missing verb
have access
arry
of Correct your spelling
areas
crops
while
there are people
who do not. For example
, some fruits cultivated in
the equator are not available in many countries like Iran. Change preposition
on
Furthermore
, the prices of some crops
are not affordable for all individuals. Thus
, if people
do not have affordability, can not provide some crops
for themself. Some crops
are expensive because of the cost
of transporting them from other countries. To better ilustrate
, in Iran, some fruits which are from Correct your spelling
illustrate
foregon
countries are extremely expensive and not anyone is able to purchase them.
To Correct your spelling
foreign
takle
the catastrophe of giving supply to all individuals equally, the governments should consider a particular transportation system designed for agricultural Correct your spelling
tackle
take
products
. This
Transportations
system Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
assisst
to easier transmitting Correct your spelling
assists
crops
from the land cultivated to markets. Moreover
, to address the problem of expensive crops
, some greenhouses could be established in order to produce the same products
which are just in other counties
. Correct your spelling
countries
Thus
, the cost
of transportation will drop and consequently
the cost
of the crops
.
In conclusion, to takle
the issue of starving Correct your spelling
tackle
take
people
, a well-designed trasportation
system for agricultural Correct your spelling
transportation
products
can help to distribution
Replace the word
distribute
of
them. Change preposition
apply
Also
, building the
greenhouses can reduce the Correct article usage
apply
cost
of transmitting and people
can buy them in
Change preposition
at
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
price
.Fix the agreement mistake
prices
Submitted by rezaei.rezvan94 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your argument. However, make sure that the introduction clearly defines the problem before diving into the reasons or solutions.
relevant specific examples
To improve Task Response, ensure that each example you provide is specifically tied to the points you're discussing. For instance, when discussing the transportation systems, clarifying how this would work in practice could strengthen your argument.
logical structure
To enhance clarity and coherence, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and word choices, such as 'Industry' instead of 'industy' and 'array' instead of 'arry.'
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a strong structure with a clear introduction and a considered conclusion, ensuring that your argument is well framed.
complete response
You've effectively identified key issues and proposed solutions, which shows a good understanding of the topic. This lays a solid foundation for a convincing argument.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with points ordered in a coherent sequence that aids understanding.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!