By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (AGREE)

Death
Add an article
The death
show examples
penalty
is the subject of significant debate today. Executing murders to
death
could lead to
guiltness
Correct your spelling
guilt
,
hence
, some
people
believe putting
murderers
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
imprisonment would be a better way. In my opinion, I
am not agree
Change the verb form
do not agree
show examples
with
this
concept because it may arouse numerous problems.
Firstly
, a lifelong sentence for
murderers
causes
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
burden
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
and it might result in a
phenamenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
of
people
intenting
Correct your spelling
intending
to be
Change preposition
on being
show examples
imprisoned owing to the life without spending their own money.
For keeping
Change preposition
Keeping
show examples
a criminal in
prison
till their
death
could cost a substantial amount of money for the government.
As a result
,
people
need to pay extra for those notorious
murderers
. From the public's perspective,
this
is a waste of money for keeping these monsters.
Furthermore
, it had happened in reality that some
people
broke the rules on purpose in order to be imprisoned as they wanted to live freely in
prison
.
Such
an example demonstrates the drawback of imprisoned punishment for
murderers
.
Additionally
, the
death
penalty
could deter
people
from
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crimes, which
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
the safety of
society
.
Murderers
take other
people
's lives, so they should be punished by being taken away their lives too.
Otherwise
, more
people
will take murder as nothing, resulting in a more chaotic world.
However
,
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
is
also
attended by the controversy of morality. Some
people
believe that executing
death
is not a proper way, as
murderers
might have the potential to retrieve their kindness and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be educated to be good.
Also
, some of the murder cases are driven by the mental issue, which is
also
a controversial topic in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe the
death
penalty
has its importance to dissuade
people
from offending crimes.
On the contrary
, putting
murderers
in
prison
could be a burdensome issue weighing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
As a result
,
ife
Correct your spelling
life
in
prison
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
not a better punishment for
murderers
.
Submitted by a0979181071 on

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task achievement
Clarify your position in the introduction. While you state 'I am not agree,' it's unclear whether you support or oppose the death penalty initially.
task achievement
Develop your points with more specific and relevant examples to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your argument.
task achievement
You address potential counterarguments, such as moral considerations and mental health issues.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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