Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities,the government encourages business move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays, traffic problems step by step
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
therefore
crowded and noise bigger problem
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
traffic.
Main
Add an article
The main
show examples
matter is crowded because
people
want to live in capital cities
moreover
so many
people
's family or relatives live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there. Nobody
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
to abandon their family. First of all,
Correct article usage
the gaven
show examples
gaven
Correct your spelling
given
opinion is really good. I support
this
idea. Rural areas
generally
Add a missing verb
are generally
show examples
empty but
people
doesn'
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
t
explore there. That's why if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
propose some laws
people
understand and abide
Change preposition
by this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
rules. We need to show some reality for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. Rural territories can be valuable because city life has so
much problem
Fix the agreement mistake
many problems
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
capital cities.
İf
Add the punctuation
İf,
show examples
we can move rural field I think we can live more
comfortable
Change the word
comfortably
show examples
as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of there isn'
t
noise or
crowded
Replace the word
crowd
show examples
and
lastly
traffic. İ
t
's so great idea for development and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. İf human
being live
Replace the word
beings lived
show examples
more
Change preposition
in more
show examples
quiet and relaxing
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
I'm sure they
can
Verb problem
would put
show examples
more effort
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
their work. Work
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
or even weather conditions impact
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
that's why we have to change some things like home. Sometimes
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to another place
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
idea.
People
will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
conductive
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
creative and constructive.
Finally
, as ı mentioned much more time.
People
should spread areas that
empty
Add a missing verb
are empty
show examples
. İf
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
don'
t
do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
anything.
Definitely
Add a comma
Definitely,
show examples
human brain function will
took
Change the verb form
take
show examples
harm. As soon as possible we can change
this
residential.
Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
show examples
people
won'
t
residential
Add a missing verb
be residential
show examples
for living.
Submitted by yaexar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help in illustrating your points more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages clearly, even if you believe one outweighs the other. This balance will enhance your task response score.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. Restating the main points or summary in the conclusion could enhance coherence.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic and provided a strong personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents some insightful ideas about the benefits of moving business to rural areas, such as improved work conditions and environment.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!