Some people believe that automation can help positively transform the economy. Others think otherwise, claiming that it may imply serious economic consequences. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate that machinery can help transform the economy positively.
On the other hand
, some
peoplebelieve
Correct your spelling
people believe
that it may have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
impact on important economic consequences.
The
Correct article usage
Automation
show examples
automation
has the good side
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
producing faster and cheaper as the consequences
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
mass
lay off
Correct your spelling
layoff
show examples
. I believe
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first statement
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
automation
can affect the economy positively. Industry 4.0 has become the most important thing especially when it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
to
automation
as it can produce faster and cheaper products.
As a result
, a company can produce the
product
and
hence
can export it to another
country
and get financial benefit and give
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
amount of taxes to the
country
.
Moreover
, taxes can boost
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
economy and help the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
to develop infrastructure for its people.
For example
, China which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
famoused
Correct your spelling
renowned
for its
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
can provide
american
Change the capitalization
American
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies with
show examples
good
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
such
as
Correct article usage
the Iphone
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Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
show examples
and export their
product
to the USA.
On the other hand
,
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
automation
can
also
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
the unemployment rate because of mass
lay off
Correct your spelling
layoffs
show examples
coming from the factory
due to
the workforce has been replaced with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
.
This
can result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
lower
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
from the worker and
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
the revenue gained for the
country
.
However
, the solution for
this
is that the employees need to upgrade their skills from labour
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
much more
white collar
Add a hyphen
white-collar
show examples
skills
such
as
analystics
Correct your spelling
analysis
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
so that they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
hired for the higher position that cannot replaced by the
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
.
For example
, consultancy jobs, including doctors or
lawyer
Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
show examples
, cannot replaced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mechines
Correct your spelling
machines
and
hence
can absorb more workforce in the industries. In conclusion,
Althought
Correct your spelling
although
it is viewed that
automation
can
affect
Verb problem
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious economic consequences, there are more positive aspects
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
tax and
hence
can boost the
ecoenomy
Correct your spelling
economy
positively for a
country
that already
adopt
Wrong verb form
adopted
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automation
.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the examples provided with more detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear and distinct topic sentence to enhance the logical flow from one idea to another.
language
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance overall clarity.
task achievement
The essay effectively balances both sides of the argument, addressing automation's potential benefits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay's central argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Productivity
  • Precision
  • Innovation
  • Displacement
  • Economic inequality
  • Retraining
  • Job displacement
  • Creative work
  • Routine tasks
  • Economic disparity
  • Social unrest
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