IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

.Write a letter to the local authorities for requesting additional sports facilities for your age group in your area. - Mention about the current sport facilities available - What kind of additional sports facilities should be introduced - How the new sports facilities would be a help for the people in your age group

#authorities #sports #facilities #age #group #area #sport #help #people
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to request you to provide some new
sports
 facilities for the young people of
this
 area. I am Kuldeep Singh, a resident of Guru Hargobind Nagar, Phagwara. I am working in HDFC Bank in the NRI branch. Presently, there are not many
sports
 facilities in
this
 town. Children play
sports
 like cricket and hockey on the grounds of the Government High School. But, there is no facility for
sports
 after office hours, where people of my age can play any sport. Sir, there is an open ground next to the school, which has become a dumping spot for people to throw garbage and other waste materials.
This
 area is under the municipal corporation of the city.
This
 place would be ideal for an indoor stadium for games like badminton and lawn tennis. It is my humble request to use
this
 place for the stadium.
This
 would benefit not only the young office goers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 the children and youth of
this
 area.
Such
 a place is much needed as we are leading sedentary lives, and some physical activity is imperative for all of us. Hoping for a careful consideration of
this
 suggestion. Yours faithfully, Kuldeep Singh
Submitted by pramodv997 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the current state of sports facilities to clearly establish the existing gap.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence by adding more transitional phrases between the paragraphs for smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
The letter contains a clear greeting and closing, maintaining a formal tone throughout.
task achievement
The writing tone is appropriate and respectful for a letter to local authorities.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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