IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items. What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

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Numerous expensive
items
Use synonyms
 are getting
quite
Rephrase
more
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 famous these days than before. More and more
people
Use synonyms
 can be seen interested in spending their hard-earned money on the big labels without even thinking once. There are
varoius
Correct your spelling
various
 reasons for
this
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, which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs but before
that
Add a comma
that,
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 my opinion regarding
this
Linking Words
 trend is that it is leading to more negative development than positive one.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I will try to
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 about it comprehensively in a brief way. Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more
socialise
Wrong verb form
socialised
show examples
 via different social media apps through phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, mass is getting to know more about brands and
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
 companies.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 is causing more popularity of expensive
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
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, cars and other
items
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 all over the world.
Such
Linking Words
 that
people
Use synonyms
 want these extremely costly
items
Use synonyms
 even without looking at their
budegts
Correct your spelling
budgets
budget
 and income.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who get influenced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous celebrities and
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
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 even without knowing that
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most of the stuff is just for promotions and advertisements,
then
Linking Words
 is returned to the labels and celebrities are paid for
collbrating
Correct your spelling
collaborating
celebrating
.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is clear social media apps are
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 showoff trend among
people
Use synonyms
 around the world. Even though
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 there are some good outcomes
but
Correct word choice
apply
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bad outcomes are weighing down good
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 easily. It can be seen that the young generation is getting influenced and demanding
highly- priced
Correct your spelling
highly-priced
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 things from their parents and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not understand their financial state.
For instance
Linking Words
, my own brother often desires to get
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 headphones that cost more than 800$ and complains that his wishes are neither heard nor fulfilled.
However
Linking Words
, he just got
Correct article usage
an iphone
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iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 15
pro max
Correct your spelling
Pro Max
show examples
 on his birthday as a gift upon his wish.
This
Linking Words
 states that pupils have no understanding that they are spending money recklessly.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I think
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
 is getting into
race
Correct article usage
a race
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of getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 more
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
items
Use synonyms
 slowly, Which is not a good sign. It can actually make the poor
people
Use synonyms
more
Change the word
apply
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poorer and
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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more
Change the word
apply
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richer. There is a need for
people
Use synonyms
 to understand and stop being materialistic and buy what they need so that they do not lose all
Correct pronoun usage
their
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money
in
Change preposition
on
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 unnecessary
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction, main body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
It is important to use linking words and phrases effectively to ensure a smooth flow of ideas throughout your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with specific details or examples.
task achievement
Try to express your ideas and arguments more clearly, avoiding over-generalization and vague phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thoughtful introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons behind the trend and its potential positive and negative impacts.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social Status
  • Proliferation
  • Globalization
  • Targeted Advertising
  • Perceived Value
  • Desirability
  • Reliability
  • Peer Pressure
  • Consumer Satisfaction
  • Innovation
  • Competition
  • Excessive Consumerism
  • Social Classes
  • Detract
  • Appreciation
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