More and more people want to buy famous brands in clothes cars and other items. What are the reasons behind this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development

Numerous expensive
items
are getting
quite
Rephrase
more
show examples
famous these days than before. More and more
people
can be seen interested in spending their hard-earned money on the big labels without even thinking once. There are
varoius
Correct your spelling
various
reasons for
this
, which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs but before
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
my opinion regarding
this
trend is that it is leading to more negative development than positive one.
Therefore
, I will try to
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
about it comprehensively in a brief way. Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are becoming more
socialise
Wrong verb form
socialised
show examples
via different social media apps through phones and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, mass is getting to know more about brands and
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
companies.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is causing more popularity of expensive
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
, cars and other
items
all over the world.
Such
that
people
want these extremely costly
items
even without looking at their
budegts
Correct your spelling
budgets
budget
and income.
For instance
, there are some
people
who get influenced by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous celebrities and
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
even without knowing that
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most of the stuff is just for promotions and advertisements,
then
is returned to the labels and celebrities are paid for
collbrating
Correct your spelling
collaborating
celebrating
.
Hence
, it is clear social media apps are
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
showoff trend among
people
around the world. Even though
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
there are some good outcomes
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bad outcomes are weighing down good
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
easily. It can be seen that the young generation is getting influenced and demanding
highly- priced
Correct your spelling
highly-priced
show examples
things from their parents and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not understand their financial state.
For instance
, my own brother often desires to get
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
headphones that cost more than 800$ and complains that his wishes are neither heard nor fulfilled.
However
, he just got
Correct article usage
an iphone
show examples
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
15
pro max
Correct your spelling
Pro Max
show examples
on his birthday as a gift upon his wish.
This
states that pupils have no understanding that they are spending money recklessly.
To conclude
, I think
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
is getting into
race
Correct article usage
a race
show examples
of getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
more
luxary
Correct your spelling
luxury
items
slowly, Which is not a good sign. It can actually make the poor
people
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
poorer and
rich
Correct article usage
the rich
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
richer. There is a need for
people
to understand and stop being materialistic and buy what they need so that they do not lose all
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
unnecessary
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
Submitted by preetsimran0123 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphs, including an introduction, main body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
It is important to use linking words and phrases effectively to ensure a smooth flow of ideas throughout your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are well-supported with specific details or examples.
task achievement
Try to express your ideas and arguments more clearly, avoiding over-generalization and vague phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a thoughtful introduction and a clear conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the reasons behind the trend and its potential positive and negative impacts.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social Status
  • Proliferation
  • Globalization
  • Targeted Advertising
  • Perceived Value
  • Desirability
  • Reliability
  • Peer Pressure
  • Consumer Satisfaction
  • Innovation
  • Competition
  • Excessive Consumerism
  • Social Classes
  • Detract
  • Appreciation
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