IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

#believe #responsibility #people #care #environment #government
People
 have different views about
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
who are most care
environment
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 both inhabitants and administration have distinct roles to play in
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 protection. There are three key reasons why
people
 have more chances to help
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition.
Firstly
 and foremost
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 they should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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clean up
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places like lakes,
oceans
Correct word choice
and oceans
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 .
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example,in the world
such
country's
Change noun form
countries
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 like Africa
havea
Correct your spelling
have a
have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
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water
Correct article usage
the water
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environment
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 the green zones are
declined
Wrong verb form
declining
show examples
 and
people
 should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
plant more trees to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of green places.
Finally
, the problems
connect
Change the form of the verb
connected
show examples
 with transportation.
Such
 as ,if
people
 use
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
minimumm
Correct your spelling
minimum
 as soon as possible the atmosphere
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 being more disinfected,
besides
 ,more
freshly
Change the word
fresh
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 and cleaner.
However
 ,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 as well governments have opportunities to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good form. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 they have a chance to
fineng
Correct your spelling
find
when
people
poisoned
Wrong verb form
poison
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.If
people
 drop out rubbish after
trip
Add an article
a trip
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the governments should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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give them
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
.Perhaps, another thing the administration
banning
Wrong verb form
banned
show examples
 is hunting animals like fishes who are very open .It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to
decreasing
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 the proportion of
disappear
Change the verb form
disappearing
show examples
 animals. In conclusion,the governments and the
people
 have
save
Wrong verb form
saved
show examples
 chances to
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 and day by day becoming better
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use clear linking words and transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed supporting examples to strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your thoughts more clearly before you start writing. This will help in providing a clearer structure to your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the two perspectives and provides a balanced view, which is a good start for discussing both sides.
task achievement
You have identified key areas where individuals and governments can contribute to environmental protection, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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