IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart demonstrates the way of unemployed people in the UK spent their
time
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see differences between morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
's and
women
Use synonyms
's behaviour.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people were more likely to do housework in the morning rather than in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
, which was 19% of
time
Use synonyms
 spent for
men
Use synonyms
,49% for
women
Use synonyms
 in the morning and 7% for
men
Use synonyms
, 21% for
women
Use synonyms
 in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 spent for both morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
 could be seen in drinking which date was 2% for
men
Use synonyms
's morning, 3% for the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
's both sides 1%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the biggest difference between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 was the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on gardening,
men
Use synonyms
 spent almost 14% of their
time
Use synonyms
 doing it, but
women
Use synonyms
 spent less than 4% of their
time
Use synonyms
 on gardening.On the other side,
women
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 doing housework,
while
Linking Words
 the most important thing for
men
Use synonyms
 was to hunt for jobs.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the other things between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 were quite equal, like shopping, reading, TV etc.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, afternoon, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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