The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.‎ Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic

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There is no denying the fact that children overweight number has increased to almost 20% in the

last

Linking Words

ten years.

This

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essay will discuss the causes and

effects

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

disturbing trend.

To begin

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with, there are many causes for overweight children.

Firstly

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, children

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

days

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

spend all day

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

playing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

video games,

in other

Linking Words

words

Add a comma

words,

show examples

they do not move or do any physical activities in the past kids

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

played together in the street.

In addition

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

plays a significant role in

this

Linking Words

topic in

thesedays

Correct your spelling

these days

kid's

Change noun form

kid

show examples

food

Use synonyms

has become more and more unhealthy they eating fast

food

Use synonyms

for example

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, there is a study says consumers number of fast

food

Use synonyms

is increased 10 per cent

last

Linking Words

10 years. In terms of

effects

Use synonyms

that will be after a

while

Linking Words

first,

Linking Words

overweight will

Use synonyms

effects

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Change the pronoun

their

show examples

health and there are a lot of diseases related to overweight like heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

. It is

also

Linking Words

possible to say that they will be not able to play or do daily things like normal

walk

Replace the word

walking

show examples

, and he can do any sports like swimming or playing football games with his friends.

Moreover

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, it will

efects

Correct your spelling

effects

on them education side because they can not focus on their studies.

For instance

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, if they have sports class maybe they can not play or they get tired quickly. In conclusion, there are many causes for overweight kids. It is

also

Linking Words

true that the

effects

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

disturbing trend.

Submitted by mona11omar33 on Mon Oct 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using paragraphs to separate different points or ideas (e.g., one for causes, one for effects).

task achievement

Try to develop each point with more detailed examples or explanations to improve your task response score.

language

Double-check your grammar and word choice to enhance clarity and precision.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the causes and effects of the issue, showing your understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction stating the topic and your intentions for the essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

241 words

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.‎ Show ideas and vocabulary / Find essays with the same topic

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people think that in the modern society, individuals are becoming more dependent on each other, while others say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the word is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue?

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in others' country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?