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Band 4

You live in a small city . A local internet service provider is planning to launch 5G technology in your area. Company is conducting a survey to know public opinion.

#city #internet #service #provider #g #technology #area #company #survey
I strongly believe that 5G is the new and faster technology. If it is set up in my town, it will have a lot of advantages for people here. Nowadays, everyone can not live without the internet in modern society . We need it for work, study and connecting people together. Especially, working really needs faster internet, which is very effective for companies.
In the
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The
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 research
also
,
They
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
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 updated information as soon as possible through networking.
Moreover
, People in the city can use 5G when they go out, which makes it easier to find somewhere to go or for entertainment.
For example
, I want to look for a road to go hiking in the forest. I can check the map on my phone to go.
Although
, maybe the internet bill will be higher in the future. But everything has pros and cons and in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 we have more than lose. Again, these are only my personal views and I thank you for the opportunity to express my thoughts.
Submitted by timmotgiay02 on

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task achievement
The introduction is clear and provides a good starting point, but the essay would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement outlining the specific advantages you will discuss.
task achievement
Work on ensuring that each main idea is clearly developed with supporting details to enhance clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly across paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have a clearer conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your position.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the advantages of 5G in the context of your town.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as using maps while hiking, which help to support your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction and body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains a positive and engaging tone, appreciating the chance to express personal thoughts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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