IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different variables are measured in percentages

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different variables are measured in percentages
#line #birth #rate #population #growth #death #scotland #three #variables #percentages
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line
graph
 illustrates the demographic rates (
birth
,
inhabitants
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitant
show examples
growth
 and mortality) between
Change the article
the year
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1940 and 2020 in Scotland. From the line
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
 it can be clearly seen
birth
 and population
growth
 rates decreased,
while
 death
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 increased during the given time period. Studying the
graph
 in more detail it can be seen that the
birth
rate
 was at its peak,
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, in 1940,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 constantly decreased later. The death
rate
 was
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 highest level
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 1.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of the period and
then
 steadily decreased till 2010. After that, the mortality
rate
 elevated, being
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 0.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2020. The population
growth
rate
 from 0.8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1940 dropped to 0.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1945
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
then
 rocketed
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1.5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the next ten years. After that,
growth
Correct article usage
the growth
show examples
rate
 constantly decreased and there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 no
growth
 at all since 2004. In conclusion, the line
graph
 describes that
due to
decrease
Correct article usage
the decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
birth
rate
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mortality
rate
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
growth
 stopped.
Submitted by rasav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, birth, growth, rate, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: